Earlier today Celebitchy reported that Jon Gosselin had taken at least $200,000 out of his joint checking account with soon-to-be ex-wife Kate. Kate promptly went on The Today Show this morning and told the world that she only had $1000 left in her bank account thanks to Jon and couldn’t pay her bills. She also explained all the ways that he’s a vindictive, selfish, petty brat. Kate was gracious enough not to use those words, but I don’t mind it. Now Jon – being the aforementioned vindictive, selfish, petty brat of a man that he is – has lashed out, saying he took out only $22,000 and has the paper trail to prove it. He also claims that Kate is essentially unstable and/or stupid – however you wish to interpret the phrase “not thinking clearly.” And we all know Jon’s thought process is about as slow and thick as a fog, so that’s rich.

Gosselin tells THE INSIDER that Kate’s claims are “a total fabrication. I withdrew $22,000 last Thursday. I have the paper trail to prove it.” He goes on to say, “I’ve never taken any money out because over ten years, Kate handled all the banking. Over the past four years of doing the show, we accrued $2,250,000. She says in the past week I took $230,000. I have withdrawn roughly $177,000 over the course of a year, which is less than 10% of what we made. That’s like my paycheck.”

On why Kate would make these claims, “I believe she’s incriminating herself and not thinking clearly. She’s wanting me to look bad.” Does he believe Kate is having problems paying her bills? “No. She’s hiding money. We have 11 bank accounts. That was just our joint account. She had a best-selling book. Where’s that million dollars?” Gosselin insists, “I didn’t want these things to come public. I didn’t want this to be embarrassing for her.”

[From the Insider via the Huffington Post]

How charitable of Jon. What really frustrates me about stupid people is most of them don’t know they’re stupid. I don’t think Jon believes he’s any sort of genius, but he truly doesn’t get just how very simple and dumb he is. I’m not Kate’s biggest fan for a number of reasons, but still. This was never a marriage of equals, intellectually. Or most other ways.

Anyway, Kate’s lawyer has responded to Jon’s ridiculous claims. He’s nicer than me and manages not to actually call Jon stupid, but you can tell he’s thinking it.

Kate Gosselin’s lawyer isn’t buying the excuse offered by Jon and his attorney about why the reality TV dad suddenly and secretly removed $230,000 from a joint banking account. In fact, Marty Singer, one of Los Angeles’ top attorneys, isn’t holding back and calls the reasoning “ridiculous” in an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com on Monday. Kate hired the Lavely & Singer law firm after she discovered Jon raided their bank account, leaving her with only $1,000 to pay the family bills, a scandal first reported by RadarOnline.com

Jon’s lawyer Mark Heller put out a lengthy statement citing alleged financial wrongdoing by Kate dating to 2008 while saying Jon was entitled to to the money in the account as a “paycheck.” … “Mr. Heller’s response to justify why his client withdrew over $200,000 is ridiculous,” Singer told RadarOnline.com exclusively. “There was a court order preventing Jon Gosselin from withdrawing the monies. He did so secretly, leaving only $1,000 to pay the family bills.”

[From Radar]

So all bull from Jon Gosselin. There’s nothing about his character or behavior that makes anyone think his version of events is more likely to be accurate. Though I could possibly be convinced that he’s too stupid to know the difference between $22,000 and $200,000. Actually I’d bet you anything that’s what happened. But seriously, I doubt Kate would have accused him of taking that kind of money if she couldn’t back it up. And frankly if she is hiding money, I can’t blame her. I’m not saying it’s legal or okay, but I can sympathize. The woman’s got 8 kids to feed. Don’t try to tell me Jon’s going to contribute to their support in any meaningful way.

In case you’re wondering, Jon was also dumb enough to hire just about the worst lawyer he possibly could. I think we should start a new line of jokes to replace “yo mama” jokes. “Jon Gosselin is so stupid…” “How stupid is he?” Fill in the rest with new daily example.