Girls Gone Wild head and all-around sociopath creep Joe Francis had some choice words for the woman he “allegedly” beat up inside a Hollywood club last week. Jayde Nicole, 2008 Playmate of the Year, claims Joe attacked her from behind, grabbing her by the hair and punching her in the face. Joe admitted that he did pull her hair a little, but denied punching Jayde. Paparazzi video of Jayde crying outside the club on the night in question supports her side of the story. In the video she shows bruises near her eye while she explains that Francis punched her. Jayde is obviously upset and not faking. Now Joe Francis is claiming that he is somehow the victim of Jayde and her boyfriend, Brody Jenner, who came to Jayde’s defense and punched Joe after he attacked her.

In an obnoxious statement to Fox News, Joe is really vague about what happened except to say that he’s the victim, he’s so much better than the perpetrators, and that Jayde somehow either hit Joe’s ex girlfriend this time or in a previous incident. In fact he’s a “million times above” it all, except in a few sentences later where he talks about how Brody Jenner has a small d*ck. Now how is that relevant to his status as the poor victim of a couple of famewh*res? How superior can you be if you’re resorting to questioning the size of someone’s weenie?

Joe Francis and Brody Jenner were embroiled in a club fight at Hollywood hotspot Guys last Thursday in which Jenner claims Francis beat his girlfriend. The fisticuffs ended with Jenner being tasered, and authorities are investigating the situation.

Pop Tarts caught up with the “Girls Gone Wild” creator to get his side of the story.

“I am the victim of a crime and I have bigger fish to fry. I’m dealing with some idiot, some club rat in Hollywood, and this is ridiculous because I’m a million times above this,” Francis told Pop Tarts. “All that I’m saying is that I’m 100 percent confident that I will come out completely clean on this, and we have been in contact with the police … and I’m fine. I’ve got scratches and bruises but there is no excuse for something like this. It was an unprovoked attack by two losers.”

This isn’t the first time Jenner and Francis have butted heads. Earlier this year, the two had another heated exchange at club MyHouse.

“It was another unprovoked attack. It was so interesting because in that attack, Jayde punches Abbey Wilson, her new best friend, who was the girl by her side that she went to rescue, who was my girlfriend at the time,” Francis said. “I don’t know who Jayde is, I’ve never talked to that girl. I’m so above these people.”

He does, however, seem to have heard a thing or two about Brody Jenner’s, um, Jenner Jr.

“Take a highlighter, put your fingers around that, and take half of it,” Francis said, mentioning two former “Laguna Beach” stars who could vouch for his assertion.

Taking a higher road for a moment, Francis said he’s more concerned about the flames ravaging his town.

“It’s just so stupid. LA is about to burn to down and people give a crap about this? I’m concerned about people’s houses and these fires,” he added. “If you watch these fires coming over the hills, that’s where my concern is. Not Brody on ‘The Hills,’ the kid is a loose cannon.”

Reps for Jenner and Nicole did not respond to repeated requests for comment.

[From FoxNews]

Joe’s argument that people are paying attention to what a douche he is while there are terrible fires in LA reads just like Billy Bob Thornton complaining we’re somehow to blame for the fact that his terrible behavior made it into the news. It’s like we shouldn’t pay attention to these fools, and it’s our fault for calling them out when they get in bar fights. Maybe Joe has a point, but like a car crash it’s hard to look away. His ass could get hauled off to federal prison for tax evasion soon, though, so we hopefully won’t be graced with words of delusional grandeur spit out from his giant teeth much longer.