It could be a sex thing, for all we know. It seems George Clooney broke his hand a few weeks ago, and rumors have been swirling that it was all part of some kind of motorcycle accident in Switzerland, which is a really random story to float. Clooney’s spokesperson confirmed the broken hand to People Magazine, but the spokesperson corrects the record on how exactly the hand got damaged. The official reason is “he shut the car door on his hand.” Mm-hm. My honest-to-God first thought when I saw the words “George Clooney broken hand” were “sex thing… Italian hookers… he likes it rough.” I thought these dirty, dirty thoughts because I’m a pervert. But so is Clooney. That’s why I’m not buying the “car door” explanation. You know there was some filthy, pornographic, nasty, crazy orgy stuff going on in that house:

Good thing he wears a helmet! Now George Clooney just needs some sporty gloves to match as the handsome actor has broken his hand in a car accident of sorts, his rep confirms to PEOPLE.

According to European media reports, Clooney was riding his Harley Davidson around Lake Lugano, at the border of Italy and Switzerland, with current squeeze Elisabetta Canalis when the accident occurred a couple weeks ago. His rep, however, tells PEOPLE what really happened.

“There was an accident and he did break his hand,” Clooney’s rep Stan Rosenfield said Thursday. “He was not riding a motorcycle, it was not in Switzerland … He was on his property in Italy and he shut the car door on his hand.”

Clooney, 49, was treated at the private Ars Medica clinic in Gravesano, Switzerland, which is about a 40-minute drive from Lake Como, Italy, where Clooney owns a home. “The doctor has given him 30-40 years more to live, and no live animals were harmed during the wrapping of the hand,” Rosenfield quipped.

Nearly two years ago Clooney, 49, and his then-girlfriend Sarah Larson were both treated after the motorcycle they were riding collided with a car in New Jersey. At the time, the actor suffered a hairline fracture of a rib and road rash, while Larson suffered a broken foot.

[From People]

I applaud People’s recall of the incident with Sarah Larson. There’s something about those working girls that makes Clooney clumsy, isn’t there? New theory: Viagra is rotting his brain. It could happen. He’s popping the little blue pills to keep up with the young girl-women he prefers, and suddenly the blood flow isn’t going to his brain anymore. He becomes clumsier, more accident prone. It’s not the worst theory, you know?

Here’s George heading out on a motorboat on the lake for a photo shoot on August 14th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.