Life & Style is running with a cover story this week about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart being “back on”. It’s a pretty boring story, and most of it is stuff we covered earlier this week. Basically, Kristen and Pattz were shacked up in the Chateau Marmont for most of the weekend, and now they’re basically hittin’ it all of the time. The most interesting part of cover story was the part about how Kristen is going to get her “Bella hair” back. The official Twilight colorist (seriously?) tells L&S, “I’d bleach her hair to remove the color, then condition it and match it to the weave she wears in the film.” Breaking news! Now more about the hot Chateau Marmont action:

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart helped Twilight win best movie romance and best kiss at the 2009 Teen Choice awards on Aug. 9. But things are even steamier between the two leads offscreen. After spending two difficult months apart while they worked on different projects 3,000 miles away from each other, on Aug. 5 the co-stars reunited for five blissful days in LA — and their romance was instantly back on. “From the way they act, it’s clear that Rob and Kristen are together — and in love,” says an insider who witnessed the meet-up. “It seems that they can’t stay away from each other.”

Robert and Kristen’s five-day PDA fest shocked more than just their die-hard fans. “I saw the pictures — getting in cabs together, going for lunch,” Nikki Reed, who plays Rosalie Hale in Twilight, said to Rob during their Alaska Airlines flight from LA to Vancouver on Aug. 10. “I thought you were going to keep it undercover?”

Confirming his relationship with Kristen, Rob whispered for Nikki to keep her voice down. But it appears there’s just no hiding the love between him and Kristen, especially now that they’re reunited for the 10-week Eclipse shoot. “Rob likes interesting, smart girls,” Justin Chon, who plays high school student Eric Yorkie in the Twilight saga, tells Life & Style. “I think once he finds the right girl, Rob’s a real relationship kind of guy.”

[From Life & Style]

Boring, right? Anyhoodle, has everyone seen this new thing that Jimmy Fallon is doing on his show and website? He’s mocking our poor little Sparkles, Robert Pattinson. He calls these faux-webisodes “Robert Is Bothered”. It’s Jimmy “in character” as Robert Pattinson, complete with a hilarious (and not bad) English accent. Faux-Pattz’s little speeches take place in a tree, and if this continues to be a weekly bit for Jimmy, I’d imagine we will hear Faux-Pattz’s take on everything. Last week’s episode was about the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week. This bothers Faux-Pattz, because “Sharks are stupid. Sharks bite people when they smell blood. Sound familiar? Oh yeah, wait, they’re like vampires. Copycat fishes.”

My last piece of Pattz news is this funny report from OK! Magazine UK. They’ve got an interview with a woman named Dr. Lisa Bode. Dr. Bode is a Twihard. She tells OK! that Pattz has set an “impossible benchmark” for young women looking for the right guy, and that the Twilight books and films “are leaving women with unrealistic expectations of men.” Because he’s a vampire, you ask? No! Dr. Bode says, young women (and apparently, older Twihard doctors) and “idealising Edward to the point where real men can’t compete anymore. It’s a kind of performative thing, an empowering gesture. If you consider the way that women have had to put up with men’s ideals for centuries and feeling insecure in relation to that, there’s perhaps a little bit of revenge coming through.” Oh, for goodness sake. Get a grip, Dr. Bode.

Robert Pattinson is shown at the Teen Choice Awards on 8/9/09 with Jackson Rathbone and Kellan Lutz. Credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures. Header image thanks to CoverAwards