Kate Gosselin was a guest host on The View today, which was about “Women and Addiction” and featured Dr. Drew and a bunch of ex Celebrity Rehab attendees like Mackenzie “new face” Phillips and Mindy McCready. Kate wore a ridiculous short fuchsia tiered dress for St. Patrick’s Day, because it’s all about how good she looks and not whether she gets pinched by the leprechauns. (And she’s got plenty of them at home but I doubt she’ll be seeing them today.)

Kate was sporting feathered extensions and frosted heavy eye makeup. She didn’t look bad, but I have a hard time being objective about her. Something about her grates on me. I have to say that she came across pretty well, though, especially when compared to another famous mother of multiples who recently appeared on The View, Octomom Nadya Suleman. Anyone would look sane and normal compared to Suleman, though.

The first thing the ladies on the panel brought up were the rumors about Kate acting the diva on the set of Dancing with The Stars. She denies that she’s been cold to fellow contestants and crew, and says she’s been primarily practicing in her basement in Pennsylvania with her partner, Tony Dovolani. Kate claims she’s only been out to the set once and that the rumors aren’t true.

On how she’s not a diva on DWTS
“I’ve been out there once, for the initial thing. Danced for five days there. Met everybody. Wonderful. Had a great time. It is so much fun. It is a huge honor. I told my kids I’m playing dress up. Get to go to the makeup room, the hair room, costumes.”

On how she manages her dancing schedule around mommy duty
As to how she manages her dancing practice around her kids, Kate never mentioned that she has multiple nannies or help at all. “It’s a delicate balance of a working mom. I’m grateful to have work, I’m grateful to be able to do this. I have kids to provide for. It’s just a matter of a schedule…. A lot of times I’m dancing before they’re up in the morning or after they’re in bed or while they’re in school.”

On if Jon is helping out and financially supporting her
She said her ex husband Jon was helping out a little when Sheri asked her about it. “He was at our house for a week during the time I was in L.A. And, he’s there when he’s there. [shrugs]”

Joy asked Kate if Jon helped her financially at all and she answered “We’re here talking about Dancing with The Stars.”

On how she feels about reading that she’s a diva
“It’s no different than what I’ve been facing for the last year. I feel like it’s unfair. If you meet me, not the tabloid me, not anything else, you will realize I’m just like moms everywhere working. I’ve had a great time with the whole cast, so it’s untrue, unfounded, ridiculous.”

“Unfortunately people will read this and believe it. I typically like to look at it and just laugh because I can’t change it. I don’t let it bother me, I’m too busy working, focusing on my kids.”

I have to say that Kate seemed pretty likable and friendly on The View. She knows how to play the media game, but I still find her distasteful. How long will it take for her to get voted off Dancing with The Stars? Will she hang in there until the end by sheer force of will?

Images are screenshots from ABC video, shown above and available at ABCNews.go.com

The Immaculate Tina Fey is the April cover girl for Esquire Magazine! She’s promoting Date Night, the romantic-comedy (with lots of action) that Tina costars with Steve Carrell. Regarding the photos Esquire “made” Tina pose for, Tina had this to say to the magazine:

“The idea of the photo shoot is something like my wild night out. The irony being that I don’t do that. I got an e-mail [from Esquire] with a list of the potential setups, and my e-mail back was like, Well, I need to decline being handcuffed to a bed. I won’t straddle anyone. I won’t make out with a cop. There are certain things, I totally get them as a premise. And they’re all good fun, and if I were a young single model, they would be appropriate, but, you know, I’m a mom. And my kid’s going to find this someday. I don’t want to be handcuffed to a bed in Esquire. What are you nuts? I’m not going to make out with a cop that I’m handcuffed to. I got to get my kid into kindergarten. I guess that’s more of a Montessori way of learning, when they handcuff you to things.”

[From Esquire]

Chuckle. She’s just so funny. So far, Esquire has only put up an excerpt of their article, called either “Tina on the Real Tina” or “Tina Fey’s Night Out” or whatever. I would have called it: “Tina Fey: The Most Fabulous Bitch On Ice” or “Tina Fey Rocks the Kasbah”. Or something like that. You know, mix it up a little. Try not to go for the obvious. Here’s Esquire’s piece, “Tina on the Real Tina” (it’s just her accumulated quotes):

“Twitter seems like a busman’s holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I’ll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I’m old-fashioned that way.”

“Plots we would not do on 30 Rock? Let me put the Internet at ease: Liz and Jack will never be together. Not even if we go fifteen seasons. Okay, if we get to season fifteen, they’ll do it.”

“I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it’ll recede. In fact, I know it will. That’s life on planet earth. And I’m okay with that. Besides getting tables at restaurants and special treatment at the airport, what else is there?”

“What goes into a Sarah Palin impression? For me, it was a wig. And gluing down my ears. When I wear that half-up hairdo, my ears stick out. Also overdrawing my lips to make it look like I have bigger lips. Then there’s the Minnesooota Fargo kind of accent. Ya know? And the o’s, and the that, and all that. And smiling when you talk.”

“I feel that if I do it again, people will be like, ‘Oh, wait a minute. That’s terrible! You never really could do it, could you?’”

“I’ve got to write that book. I’ve had very little time to work on it. It will be hopefully humorous essays. Not about my neck. It’s actually mostly about how I feel about Nora Ephron’s neck. And I feel great about it. I want her to feel better about it. It’s better than mine.”

“What I’ve come to realize is that when people say, ‘The thinking man’s whatever’ — there’s no such thing. The thinking man also wants to f-ck Megan Fox.”

“My parents are going to be like, Why did you curse that much in that Esquire article?”

[From Esquire]

I f-cking love that line: “What I’ve come to realize is that when people say, ‘The thinking man’s whatever’ — there’s no such thing. The thinking man also wants to f-ck Megan Fox.” It’s so f-cking true. And so f-cking sad. I love how she’s so great at old-fashioned one-liners and punchy little zingers. She’s like Don Rickles with a great rack.

ALL HAIL QUEEN TINA!!!

Esquire photos of Tina, courtesy of Esquire online.

I swear, I thought K-Stew was Evan Rachel Wood here. [Yeeah]
Martha Stewart‘s ex-BFF reveals Martha‘s animal insanity. [Gawker]
Sharon Stone comes to support Michael Douglas, but where‘s Catherine? Ruh-roh. [LaineyGossip]
Lady Gaga‘s Coke-can curlers travel well. [Go Fug Yourself]
Stephanie Seymour is still hot, has nipples. [A Socialite Life]
Heidi Klum is also still hot, and she has nipples too. [The Blemish]
Gary Dourdan‘s girlfriend is violent. [Dlisted]
Ashley DuPre was posing for Playboy & her [blank] caught fire! Just kidding, it was her hair.[Bitten and Bound]
Jude Law is so sexy when he‘s grumpy. [Accidental Sexiness]
Empress Zahara is giving Venice the stink-eye. [I’m Not Obsessed]
I love you Josh Holloway/Sawyer/James/LaFleur/The Hotness. [Pajiba]
Do not want: Bret Michaels has a thing for Ivana Trump. [The Frisky]
Kim Kardashian may be quitting reality television. [Celebslam]
I like Anderson Cooper, but he looks constipated here. [PopEater]
Kendra Wilkinson used to be a really damaged girl. [Starpulse]
Pamela Anderson looks… not good. Not horrible, but not good. [Hollywood Rag]

So in between endless pregnancy announcements today (like Amy Poehler’s and Kevin Costner’s and those people from It’s Always Sunny and Winne Cooper’s), I’ve been wondering about my guy Gerard Butler. I’ve been wondering if he and Jennifer Aniston are really hot for each other or if they’re just playing like they’re hot for each other. I’ve been wondering what he looks like naked. I’ve been wondering how many girls he’s banged since he got to New York. I’ve also been watching his Good Morning America interview, and it’s hilarious and interesting and weird. He’s talking about building schools in Haiti, but with his brogue, “schools” sounds like “screws”. Which is not what he’s doing, for the record. Oh, and FYI: Aniston is stealing my game. She’s befriending Gerard’s mom. That was my way in, bitch!

Oh, I would give anything to know what (who) he was doing all night, causing him to get no sleep. Partying with hookers much?

Anyway, in further “Aniston-is-stealing-my-game” news, she’s actually cooking and baking for him. Seriously, that was my move too, Aniston! Stop mind-f-cking me!!! Aniston told People Magazine, “I love to cook.” And Butler confirmed: “Mexican…She has a big thing with Mexico and Mexican food. And I had a great night of Mexican food and a whole bunch of people … over at her house, she had a big to-do, and she had a lot of friends over and it was delicious. She makes a good cupcake. And I’m good at eating them.” You bastard! You promised you would only eat my cupcakes!

So are they together? Perhaps even asking that question is an admission that this game has worked yet again. Or perhaps they’re just two people who get along, affectionately and publicly. Meh. Gerard summed up his feelings on the dating-Aniston rumors by telling The Sun: “I went for her birthday to Mexico. We’re just friends. We have a natural chemistry - you can see it in our magazine shoot and the film. We have a great time together. But here’s the thing - while they’re accusing me of being with Jennifer, I’ve probably been off somewhere else doing damage with someone else.” With me? I’ll never tell. Actually, I would probably do a three-part series (at least) for this site if I ever got the chance to meet (much less nail) Gerry.

Gerard at the ‘Bounty Hunter’ premiere on March 16, 2010. Credit: Pacific Coast News.

Because Jesse James banged this without a condom. I’m not saying all women with tattoos who fuck married man have VD, but I’m also not saying “You just got Blind Sided!” hasn’t become the proper medical term for genital… …read full story

Here’s former supermodel Stephanie Seymour in St. Barts yesterday looking pretty damn good for whatever depressing age she is. (I’m afraid to Google it.) She also flashed some nipple which is exciting only if a blurry areola combined with… …read full story

Do you know what I wore when I was 17 years old? Jeans. And the occasional goth-lite getup, like my favorite long black skirt (it was so flattering!) and black t-shirt. Back then, the one time I wore a slightly cleavage-revealing navy sundress to work, I was sexually harassed. So I learned to harness my boobs and hide my problem areas, like my thighs. I could never imagine traipsing around LA in Daisy Dukes like Miley Cyrus. Not only would my thighs be a problem, I wouldn’t want to. She looks ridiculous. Why do your girls/women dress like this? And why go with beaver-grazing short shorts, tank top and vest, and then add to it slouchy boots? Ugh.

Anyway, Miley continues her promotional duties for The Last Song. She sat down for an interview with Parade in which she talks about Michelle Obama’s beauty, her love for boyfriend Liam Hemsworth, and her love of both Dolly Parton and Lady Gaga:

Has her high energy ever been mistaken for ADD or ADHD? “When I was in middle school I was told I might have one of those and if I were in high school now they would most likely tell me I do have one or both of those and put me on some sort of crazy medication.”

Moving beyond her high-energy reputation.
“When I was eight years old, people were going, ‘Oh, my God. She’s crazy! What’s she going to be like when she’s 17?’ Well I’m 17 now and I’m doing pretty well for whatever it is that I am.”

Finding unbiased love with Liam Helmsworth. “[Liam has] become my best friend in the whole wide world. I love him. He really respects me for who I am because coming from Australia, he really didn’t know me as the celebrity I am here. I got to tell him about myself on my own terms and my own way. He had no preconceived notion of who I was supposed to be.”

Tapping into her grandfather’s political legacy.
“My character’s name [in The Last Song] is Ronnie and that is in memory of my grandfather, Ron Cyrus, who died a couple of years ago from lung cancer. He was a politician in Kentucky and served in the state legislature for 21 years. A Democrat. I recently did a concert in Washington D.C. and I met all these people who knew my grandfather and told me what he had meant to them.”

Did the Obama girls come to the concert?
“Yes. The First Lady brought them. I had met them before because I sang at the inauguration. I think Michelle Obama is the most beautiful person to ever live in the White House. When she came to my concert she was dressed so classy and yet funky. I didn’t feel like I was talking to the First Lady. I just felt like I was talking to a normal person. I think that’s what’s so attractive about that whole family.”

Having Dolly Parton as her godmother.
“She is the nicest person in the world. She’s so easy to talk to. She’s awesome. I love her. She always tells me just to do what I love and if I’m not having fun it’s not working. I don’t know how old she is at this point but every time she is on the stage she is smiling from ear to ear.”

What she thinks of music’s latest sensation, Lady Gaga.
“I love her. She’s really smart. I caught her on Oprah and she was really chill. I used to be like, yeah, I guess she’s talented but how much is she really singing. But I’ve become a convert. She has to be smart to come up with all her gags and the stuff she comes up with. She gets it. She knows exactly what she’s doing. It’s like Dolly Parton. Dolly plays up that I’m-a-cute-dumb-blonde but, believe me, she’s not dumb. She’s sitting on a ba-jillion dollars.”

What she’s watching — and not watching — on TV.
“I am screwed up in the mind a little bit because I’m not like other 16- or 17-year-old girls. I have no perspective of who exactly my fans are, to tell you the truth. Teenage girls in general are hard for me. I’m not a girl’s girl. And I don’t really watch television at all. But there is one show I’m addicted to: RuPaul’s Drag Race. I love me some RuPaul. I love RuPaul’s motto. It goes something like, ‘A real lady is never bitchy, a real lady is sassy.’”

Why she’s steering clear of the country scene.
“It scares me, that’s why. It feels contrived on so many levels. Unless you’re wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots and singing and whining about your girlfriend or boyfriend leaving you it’s not going to sell. I think that’s why my dad finally got out of it. You have to wear those cowboy boots and be sweet as pie. It makes me nervous, the politics of it all.

Her relationship with the ever-present paparazzi.
“The other day I felt a little bit in danger for the first time because there were too many photographers following me in too many cars. And I have to ask myself, ‘Why would any other 50-year-old man who was stalking a 17-year-old girl go to jail, but not these guys? I’m not as American as anyone else?’ I mean, they couldn’t sit outside of a high school but they can sit outside my recording studio. It’s creepy.”

Knowing her faith.
“The one thing I’m really strong about regarding my religious beliefs is that you should know a little bit about everything before you define your own beliefs. I think all religions have a good practice in them. Liam and I have been reading about Buddhism lately and it’s all about hope and love. To me, faith is about having a clean slate and a clean start.”

Making mistakes and learning the power of forgiveness.
“You don’t have to say, ‘Well, I’m already a bad person so I might as well go ahead and do this other bad thing.’ It’s about knowing sometime that what you did wasn’t always the best choice but you now have the chance to start over again. That’s the biggest thing to me about my faith: you don’t have to live tallying up all the things you’ve done wrong. It’s all about forgiveness. If God who created the world can forgive you then you can forgive yourself.”

Tweeting up controversy.
“There has been so much controversy sometimes about what I’ve said or done because I believe there are no mistakes because God is the only one who can judge us. That’s the reason I deleted my Twitter account because I said on there that I believed in gay marriage because everyone should have the right to love each other, and I got such hate mail about my being a bad person.”

[From Parade]

Once again, I kind of have to give it to Miley for maturing before our eyes. She sounded pretty intelligent with some of those answers, although I would imagine that if you could hear her voice, that would go away. I thought her answer about the “politics” of country music was funny. I don’t follow that country music scene, is what she said true? Is it all about hats and heartbreak? And I also kind of adore how she seems incredibly open-minded about drag queens and gay people. You know she’s totally alienating a significant percent of her Bible-belt fan base, but I think she really feels this way. Bless her heart.

I’ve thrown in some photos from Miley’s shoot with Parade too. You can see the full slideshow here.

Miley in LA on March 16, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Fresh off her Oscar win, Sandra Bullock has essentially confirmed rumors Jesse James cheated on her by pulling out the UK premiere of The Blind Side which Warner Bros. has decided to scrap all together. BBC News reports: Warner… …read full story

Jesus, at this point it seems like everyone’s marriage is in “crisis”. Life & Style is reporting that Tori Spelling is “stuck” in her marriage with Dean McDermott. Dean goes off and plays with motorcycles while Tori is left with the kids. That’s basically what it boils down to, really. Of course, this whole thing is based on Life & Style “obtaining” footage from the new season of Tori and Dean’s reality show. So this is all probably a promotional bit.

Tori and Dean, the once happy reality TV couple, have recently become more like arch-enemies. Footage from season five of Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, obtained exclusively by Life & Style, reveals their once-cozy relationship is now filled with tears, tension and screaming matches.

“What changed with me?” Dean pleads with his wife in the footage that was filmed last year. “It’s like you got more and more unhappy and angry,” Tori cries back to her husband. “I just want the old Dean back. I really do. I miss you so much.”

By his own admission, Dean isn’t the attentive man Tori married. Lately he’s been consumed by an obsession with motorcycle racing. The actor often strands Tori with the kids while he speeds off to California’s Auto Club Speedway several days each week, for hours at a time. A major plotline in season five is that Dean is rarely home with the children.

Even Dean confesses, “I’m not present as a father and a husband.” Tori’s also grown tired of single-handedly supporting their family — which includes son Liam, 3, and daughter Stella, 1, — in addition to supporting his pricey hobby. “Dean has very little money of his own,” an insider tells Life & Style. “He doesn’t make a lot of money from his acting career. She has to work and parent and take care of the home all at once.”

“Dean’s the first to show up for photo ops,” the insider tells Life & Style. “Tori likes when production is going on because at least there are tons of people around, money’s coming in and there are things to do.”

Left alone with her thoughts, Tori mulls over what’s more important: her own happiness or that of her children. “She won’t leave Dean right now,” asserts the insider. “It would be very embarrassing for her and her family. She’s stuck.”

[From Life & Style]

I’m one of those weird people who occasionally watch that reality show and think “they seem like they’re really in love.” I really do think that, too. I don’t see how they could stay together like this and show their lives on camera the way they do if they weren’t really in love. I mean, neither of them is that good of an actor. So, is there something there? Are they in trouble? I bet their marriage hit some turbulence, but I bet they’re weathering it. Just my take.

Britney Spears and her agent/boyfriend Jason Trawick are no longer having fried chicken-based sex, according to E! News: “They were fighting a lot and have not been getting along,” the source says. William Morris Endeavor Entertainment, where Trawic …read full story