This week’s tabloids are chock full of goodness, hilarity and insanity about the Billy Corgan-Jessica Simpson hookup/relationship. Previously, we’ve heard that Papa Joe was likely the one to set them up, because Joe liked Billy’s soul or his faith or something. We’ve also heard bitchy comments from one of Jessica’s “friends” about how Jessica is basically doing the same old bullsh-t she does whenever she gets into a relationship, which is go overboard, hover, smother, and whine. This week, we get new insights on why Billy and Jessica are the best couple ever, including the hilarious revelation that Billy is “very caught up in Jessica’s mystique.” Seriously! Here are the tabloid snippets, courtesy of Jezebel’s tabloid round-up:

OK! Magazine – A source says since things got serious between Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan in November, she’s telling friends that she wants to have his children. Billy is “very caught up in Jessica’s mystique” and believes it’s a relationship worth pursuing.

Us Weekly - A “source” says of the Jessica Simpson/Billy Corgan relationship: “She likes weirdos and anybody who’s a ‘real’ musician. He’s smart and intense, so she likes that. But they have practically nothing in common.”

In Touch – Jessica Simpson’s “dangerous” new romance with Billy Corgan is covered thusly: “Jessica Simpson has always been a bit misguided when it comes to love. So when she was spotted walking out of the Ritz-Carlton in New York on December 4 with 42-year-old Smashing Pumpkins singer Billy Corgan, the world responded with a bemused ‘WTF?’” An insider says they are not exclusive. They seem to have little in common, but they’re both religious. Billy’s “friend” tells the magazine that he’s using the relationship to promote his new album. His ex-girlfriend, Tila Tequila, says: “I think Jessica Simpson is a waste of space. She can’t even put two and two together. She doesn’t show any female empowerment. She gets screwed over by her ex-boyfriends because she is all clingy. She should stop being so weak and stand up for yourself.”

[From Jezebel]

Crap, now Tila Tequila is getting involved? And she has the nerve to refer to anyone else as a “waste of space”?!? But the theory that Billy is using Jessica to help promote his album is a very interesting theory… but I still don’t see it. I mean, it’s not like Jessica can sell her own albums, so how is she going to help sell Billy’s? Or does Billy just want Papa Joe to “manage” him too? God help us all.

Oh, and one more thing – Us Weekly is calling bullsh-t on Star Magazine’s Tiger Woods-Jessica Simpson hookup cover story. A Simpson “source” says: “No part of this story is true. They met quickly and took a photo together. She was only there for a few hours to sing the national anthem.” Yeah, it sounded too good to be true. Jessica has also denied it on her twitter account, writing “can’t believe that I’m on the cover of star magazine with Tiger Woods, what a JOKE! “The Shocking Inside Story” is (insert drumroll) A LIE!”

Jessica and Billy in New York on December 4. Credit: INF.