I’ve been avoiding writing anything about MTV‘s new hit reality show “Jersey Shore” just because I wanted to avoid the controversy surrounding everything about these kids. I’ve watched a few minutes of the show here and there, and maybe I’m an old fart, but I don’t really get it. I mean, it’s sort of like “The Real World” if every cast member was a lower-income drunk 20-something from New Jersey, right? I don’t get the popularity or the controversy for that matter. I guess it’s nice that MTV is trying to provide an image of that generation that isn’t prettified like The Hills, so in that way I’m happy that the “Jersey Shore” kids have become instant cultural phenoms.

Anyway, some of the biggest, harshest critics of “Jersey Shore” are people that have something in common with these kids. And by that I mean Italian-Americans (who are upset with the casual declarations by the kids that they are “guidos”) and people from New Jersey. One of these critics is Alyssa Milano, an Italian-American from Jersey. So Alyssa decided to work with Funny or Die to create a parody of what it takes to look like one of these kids. It’s interesting:

The fake tan looks a little like blackface, yes? But that really is the way some fake tans look, and it looks like Alyssa is specifically trying to look like Snooki, that girl who got her face bashed in by some douche at a bar. I saw an interview with Snooki and The Situation (seriously) on E! and they actually seem like half-decent kids. I mean, they’re not rocket scientists or anything, but they don’t seem like horrible people.

One other thing - have you seen “The Jersey Shore Nickname Generator”? It’s a fun way to spend two seconds - just type in your name and gender, and hit “fist pump” and BAM! You’ve got a Jersey nickname. My nickname for my real name is C-Pow. My nickname for Kaiser is The Good Time. I’m going to ask CB if I can temporarily change my writing name to The Good Time*. Oh, let me put in “Celebitchy”! HAHAHA!!! Holy sh-t, “Celebitchy” becomes “The Paris Hilton of Trenton”. Now I’ll do her real name… oh my God, her real name becomes “The Ashlee Simpson of Cape May”. Best nickname generator ever!

*This was written by Celebitchy’s new writer, The Good Time.