For two people on a “completely platonic” vacation, Courteney Cox and Josh Hopkins seemed to be having a hard time keeping their clothes on around each other in St. Barts yesterday. Not to mention “best pals” don’t usually stand around grinning like idiots while staring at each others fun parts. Granted, my buddies and I Read More …

This Us Weekly story reads like a paid advertisement for a luxury resort, but in the resort’s defense, I think they were just overcome with (Brange)lunacy that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie came to their little establishment for a no-kids-allowed date night. It was more than a date night, actually. Brad and Angie spent the night, and Us Weekly estimated their time at the resort to “27 hours”. That’s a lot of sexy knife action. Keep him in line, Angie.

Alone at last! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ditched their brood of six for a 27-hour escape at the luxe Amangiri resort in Lake Powell, Utah on March 26 and March 27.

“Brad said he was enjoying a little mommy and daddy time,” a source tells the new Us Weekly of Pitt, 47, who jetted from New Orleans (where he’s been filming Cogan’s Trade) to meet Jolie, 35.

Checking in at 2 p.m., they enjoyed a late dinner and flew their private plane over Lake Powell the next morning. Suites at the resort — which features stunning desert views, full-service spa, yoga and “floatation” pavilions plus a fitness center and beauty salon — go for $3,300 per night. Says the source, “They liked the downtime.”

One weekend before, Jolie touched down in New Orleans with their six kids — Maddox, 9, Zahara, 6, Pax, 7, Shiloh, 4, and twins Vivienne and Knox, 2, — for a lowkey visit with Pitt near his Big Easy film set.

(The couple have explained in the past that they never schedule film projects concurrently, in order to ensure that the kids are looked after.)

“Brad and Angie have a truly loving, caring, romantic relationship,” another pal recently told Us Weekly. “They try to make it possible for to be together as much as possible, no matter how tight their schedules are. That’s what makes them so successful in love.”

[From Us Weekly]

So what about those reports that Angelina only brought the kids to NOLA for a quick weekend and then she left again? I don’t know. I can’t keep track of them. I think she and kids went to NOLA, stayed for a few days, then she and Brad had this little getaway, and then they split up, with him going to NOLA and her going to LA? But seriously, I have no idea. In Touch Weekly’s theory (via Jezebel) is that Angelina only went to NOLA in the first place to “check up on Brad” because she was concerned he was smoking cigarettes in between flirting with actresses. ITW says Angelina left because she “overstayed her welcome.” But then why did they go to Utah for a romantic getaway?!?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Even though it feels like we’ve hit everything from Ewoks to dick gummies, here’s today’s The Crap We Missed: John Mayer is a Colombian drug lord now. Wonder Woman is winning over fanboys one awkward, boner-in-her-thigh hug at a time. Hilary Swank apparently saw those Christina Hendricks pics, too. Kevin Spacey imagines the soft, delicate Read More …

Back in 2009, Bradley Cooper went on several high-profile “dates” with several high profile women. It always struck me that he was doing the budget version of what Tom Cruise (allegedly) did: auditioning his next partner. Except Tom ended up marrying his robot bride, while Bradley ended up “dating” Renee Zellweger for nearly two years before breaking up just a few weeks ago. Some think Bradley and Renee were a real couple – some don’t. I’m not judging either way. Anyway, one of the high-profile ladies that Bradley “dated” back in 2009 has an opinion about his breakup. That’s right, Jennifer Aniston has some thoughts. And she has ZERO sympathy for Renee, according to a talkative and oblivious National Enquirer source. You see, in Aniston’s mind, Renee “stole” Bradley away from her, and this breakup and Renee’s misery is all “karma”. Seriously, this is one of the funniest stories I’ve read all week – it’s a thing of beauty:

Turnabout is fair play – and Jennifer Aniston is rejoicing in Renee Zellweger’s misery after her split from Bradley Cooper, the Enquirer has learned. Aniston was heartbroken when Bradley ended their romance nearly two years ago and started dating Renee almost immediately. Now sources say Jennifer is gloating over their breakup.

“Jennifer has zero sympathy for Renee. I think as far as she’s concerned, this is a case of karma catching up with her,” an insider divulged. “The way I see it, Renee swooped in and basically stole Bradley away from her. She was devastated, and I think she’s been seething about it ever since. Jen’s not usually a bitter person [Editor’s note: LMAO!], but I’m sure she’s enjoying the fact that things didn’t work out between Bradley and Renee. She’s even reached out to him since their split.”

Bradley is reportedly anxious to jump back into the dating game, and has already been linked to Sandra Bullock and Jessica Biel. Still, insiders aren’t ruling out reconciliation with Jennifer, who’s dated a number of actors since her brief romance with Bradley in 2009.

“Jen and Bradley had great chemistry together,” pointed out another source. “There are no hard feelings as far as Jen’s concerned, but I don’t think she could ever understand his attraction to Renee in the first place. They always looked awkward together, and Bradley was obviously not ready to commit fully to Renee.”

The source added: “I think Renee was very smug about her relationship with Bradley from the get-go, and Jen probably feels Renee finally got what she deserved. Now maybe she can rekindle her romance with Bradley!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

First – how bitchy is “I don’t think she could ever understand his attraction to Renee in the first place. They always looked awkward together”? Even though I know everybody is going to yell and say that this is obviously made up (and it probably is), I think that statement is probably true regarding Aniston’s thought process.

Secondly – I remember the Cooper-Aniston “hookup” as it was. A series of dinners, followed by several swift denials directly from Bradley about how Aniston was JUST a friend, followed quickly by the relationship with Renee. I even remember the Us Weekly cover story in which several “sources” laid out the real reasons Bradley and Jennifer didn’t happen: he thought she was “not natural and insecure” and that she was putting on an “act”. The sources claimed that Bradley went with Renee because she was more low-key, more down-to-earth, less of neurotic, bitter, superficial drama queen.

My thought: whether or not the specifics of this story are true, I do know that Bradley made it clear in 2009 that he wasn’t interested. And if Aniston thinks it’s going to happen now, two years later, well… that’s sad. Oh, as I was finishing this up, the new issue of In Touch Weekly came in, and they have another story about Aniston pouncing on Bradley too. According to their sources, “She’s been texting him again…Jen would give Bradley another chance in a heartbeat… she likes him!”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Previously, the only opinion I had ever formed regarding Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel was “Oh, Megan Fox! No, that’s not Megan. It’s just some blonde chick who had Megan’s 2008 Face.” Also, in my mind, as I’m reading her name to myself, I pronounce it “Swamp Pole”. For no reason other than the fact that I can’t be bothered to learn how it’s actually pronounced. Anyway, these are new photos of Candice yesterday, doing two events for Victoria’s Secret. As you can see, chica is THIN. Really, really thin. How thin? For comparison, this is a photo of Candice from last August:

She was thin, but she looked healthy. She looked like she regularly dined on yogurt and strawberries, every other day. The new, radically thin Candice is now becoming a topic of conversation:

When South African stunner Candice Swanepoel made an appearance Wednesday in Los Angeles to model the new line of swimwear by Victoria’s Secret, her slight figure caused a major stir.

Overnight, buzz cropped up about Swanepoel’s seemingly shocking weight loss, given that she appeared thinner in L.A. than she had in photos taken only months earlier. HollywoodLife.com went so far as to call her “scarily, skeletally, stick-thin” and CBSNews.com called her “startlingly slim.”

During New York Fashion Week in November, Swanepoel, 22, told ABCNews.com that she was having trouble keeping weight on. “Actually, this year my problem has been more putting the weight on and getting muscle on because it’s been really busy,” she said. “I’ve been traveling around like crazy. I get skinnier if I’m very busy.”

Calls to reps for Victoria’s Secret were not immediately returned.

[From People]

You can say what you will about Vicky’s Secret promoting an unhealthy body image, etc, but I give them credit for choosing models who look healthy. This does not look healthy, and it makes me wonder if someone from Vicky’s isn’t sitting down with Candice and offering her some Doritos and a milkshake.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s latest catastrophic outfit. [ICYDK]
Candace Swanepoel is, like, radically thin. [Celebslam]
Carrie Underwood attached a mushroom to this dress. [Go Fug Yourself]
Kingston Rossdale gets all the ladies‘ digits. [The Blemish]
Leo DiCaprio makes $5 million a day (for one commerical). [Crazy Days and Nights]
Angelina Jolie in comic-book form. Sketchy, very sketchy. Get it? [LimeLife]
Lady Gaga‘s latest airport look. Not that bad, honestly. [The Frisky]
Mathew Knowles is secretly pissed that Beyonce fired him. [Bossip]
A dachshund stuck in a sweatshirt! Aw. [INFDaily]
Emily is moving to Austin to be with Brad the Bachelor. [Bitten and Bound]
Lindsay Lohan in another jewelry store, pre-heist. [Radar]
Ryan Gosling & Sean Penn to work together? [The Celebrity Café]
Abbie Cornish is topless & bland on the cover of Esquire. [Celebs]
Gisele Bundchen‘s latest fug photoshoot. [CityRag]
Amber Heard is a bunny. [Starpulse]
Will Ferrell‘s latest movie, with a creepy poster. [Moviefone]

These are even more new photos of Prince Harry training her ginger ass off on that freezing Swedish island, preparing to make his Arctic trek to the North Pole with Walking for the Wounded. Harry (and the charity) have done a good job of letting media outlets have access to the training site, and Harry has given several interviews on behalf of the cause. He’s fundraising! Good for him. Yesterday, the Today Show got the exclusive with Harry, but this morning it was Good Morning America. I actually enjoyed GMA’s interview with Harry so much more. He talked more, and I can see for the first time that he has a really dry, bitingly sarcastic sense of humor. JUST LIKE ME. OMG, we were so meant for each other. Here’s his full GMA interview:

It’s cute, right? He snores! And “something” happened in the tent. AND HIS VOICE, it’s so hot. It just adds so much to his sexiness, doesn’t it? And I love some of the quotes, especially when he’s talking about Will’s wedding: “It’s a big deal. It’s not just a normal wedding. It’s a really big decision for him to bring Kate into the family. We all thought that it was never going to happen for him. But it has happened and everyone is really proud of him. She’s a fantastic girl, she really is, my brother is very lucky. She’s very lucky to find my brother. The two of them are a classic match.” I also like that Harry cops to not really knowing Kate – she’s been hanging around for nine years, but she and Harry don’t really spend time together. But the way he laughs when he talks about “getting her under my wing” … it made me think that he would try to nail Waity! Damn, I hope Waity gets a piece of that.

Also – Harry wouldn’t admit to inviting Chelsy Davy, and he wouldn’t talk about the stag party either. Yeah, there were strippers. And porn. And somebody got pregnant with a ginger baby. I can just feel it.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Here’s the clean and sober Lindsay™ outside a Manhattan club last night, and I don’t know how else to describe what’s happening here without going, “Wow, that chick’s snorting coke.” Granted, she might just be spectacularly drunk, so I should at least give Lindsay™ the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t blatantly violate her Read More …

- Miley Cyrus hates that Rebecca Black song, too.
- Ashton Kutcher and Justin Bieber are making a buddy comedy that’s sure to blow Cop & 1/2 out of the water.
- Cameron Diaz might be in Drew Barrymore’s next movie which, judging from these pics, is a remake of Over The Top.
- Read More …

Okay, you know how I’ve always complained about Katy Perry and her “music”? It’s true. I really dislike Katy’s music, across the board. I dislike the official versions of her songs, and I abhor her live performances even more. But this too shall pass, because for the past week, I have not been able to get Katy’s “E.T.” out of my head. It’s really, really catchy. And… it’s not bad. Not for fluffy pop music. Sigh… does this make uncool?

Anyway, the song has been getting a lot of play on the radio, and now Katy has just released her fancy music video. It’s… interesting.

So… I don’t really “understand” it, but whatever. It’s more fun when you think that Katy is singing about her undying love for alien goddess Tilda Swinton. In fact, I kind of think Katy used Tilda as inspiration for costumes, makeup and hair. Also, I think Katy is an “alien” from the Planet Tacky Mall Nails. Her acrylic nails will destroy planet earth!

Screencaps from the video.