So, one of two things need to happen here:
1. She stays her in there permanently.
2. We inform the entire Middle East this machine is how the Great Satan derives its power. (Which if they’re reading, is true along with a warm infidel-y center. Allahu Akbar.)
I’m cool either way.
Back on Monday. Keep it safe out there,
- Read More …

The Daily Mail has published excerpts from a tell all memoir by former Playmate Izabella St James, who lived at the Playboy mansion starting in 2002, at the same time that the original Girls Next Door were there. I read the highlights at the Huffington Post, and was struck by how similar St. James’ account of her life at the mansion was to an earlier tell all I’d read, with Playmate Jill Ann Spaulding. I thought the Daily Mail was rehashing that story in light of Hefner’s engagement, but they’re not. Those details were given by two separate Playmates, and are backed up by some of the details in Kendra Wilkinson’s memoir about how Hef had regularly scheduled sex parties in which women would hop on and off him (without a condom) while porn played in the background.

St. James’ story is consistent with other accounts, although see may focus more on how restrictive, stifling and dirty it was at the mansion while she was there. Here are the highlights from the Huffington Post, and compare them to this account from a former Playmate. The details of Hef’s Wednesday and Friday sex sessions are very similar. James’ memoir Bunny Tales came out in 2006, so you may have heard some of this before.

On the mess the dogs made in the house:
“They weren’t house-trained and would just do their business on the bedroom carpet. Late at night, or in the early hours of the morning – if any of us visited Hef’s bedroom – we’d almost always end up standing in dog mess. Everything in the Mansion felt old and stale, and Archie the house dog would regularly relieve himself on the hallway curtains, adding a powerful whiff of urine to the general scent of decay.”

On how bad the decor and accommodations were
“Each ­bedroom had mismatched, random pieces of furniture. It was as if someone had gone to a charity shop and bought the basics for each room. Although we all did our best to decorate our rooms and make them homely, the mattresses on our beds were ­disgusting — old, worn and stained. The sheets were past their best, too.

“Eventually I persuaded Hef to pay for a new mattress and bed linen — but I had to turn in every single receipt before I was reimbursed.

“Hef also eventually permitted us to have the rooms painted and recarpeted. But for some reason he insisted on creamy, white-coloured carpets. He liked the girlfriends’ rooms to look very girly, all white carpet and pink walls. It looked great at first, but with two dogs (most of the girlfriends had pets that lived in their rooms — I had two pugs), butlers delivering food, dirty shoes and occasional spillages, the carpet was grey and stained in a matter of months.”

On the Playmates’ weekly allowance
“Every Friday morning we had to go to Hef’s room, wait while he picked up all the dog poo off the carpet – and then ask for our allowance: a thousand dollars counted out in crisp hundred-dollar bills from a safe in one of his bookcases. We all hated this process. Hef would always use the occasion to bring up anything he wasn’t happy about in the relationship. Most of the complaints were about the lack of harmony among the girlfriends – or your lack of sexual participation in the ‘parties’ he held in his bedroom.”

“If we’d been out of town for any reason and missed one of the official “going out” nights [When Hefner liked to parade his girls at nightclubs] he wouldn’t want to give us the allowance. He used it as a weapon.”

Freedom of a kind came on Wednesdays and Fridays, the official nights out, which were the prelude to the twice-weekly sex parties in Hefner’s bedroom.

On her curfew
“Strictest of all was the curfew. Everyone had to be on the Mansion grounds by 9pm every night — unless we were out with Hef at a club or a function. People honestly did not believe us when we told them we had a curfew at the wild and crazy Playboy Mansion.”

On sex with Hef
“I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not. But he just lay there like a dead fish. We often wondered why he did it at all. He must know deep down that it is just a show. But he is trying to live out this fantasy he has been selling to people since 1954.”

[From The Daily Mail via The Huffington Post]

So for $52,000 cash a year, presumably tax free, free rent, free chef-prepared food and free plastic surgery on their birthdays, these live-in Playmates had to be home at 9pm every night, go out with Hefner twice a week and have unprotected sex with him twice a week. Their living conditions weren’t the cleanest because they had little dogs that they didn’t clean up after. They dealt with older furniture and the residue from countless tramps accumulated over decades. I remember watching “Girls Next Door” and thinking that the mansion looked small, cramped and old so this isn’t surprising.

Is Hef giving up his lifestyle with a house full of kept completely inappropriately younger women (the twins were just 19 when they took up with him last year) now that he’s engaged to a woman 60 years his junior? I doubt it.

People has a photo of Hef’s fiance Crystal Harris’ ring and it’s not huge or anything. He probably saved the money over a few weeks from paring down the women he paid to stay in his house.

I’ve always had the impression that Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez lived way about their means. They’re obviously multimillionaires but you hear a lot about their life of excess with multiple mansions and lavish parties. Anthony owed about $2.5 million in back taxes to New York state in 2007 after he failed to file returns for four years in a row. When these two received a reported $6 million for their first photo spread with the twins (in People) they didn’t seem to donate any of it to charity, because if they did you know we would have heard about it. I assumed back that that Anthony and Lopez used the twin photo money to pay off their tax debt.

Now Anthony is in trouble with the IRS again, and owes a total of $3.4 million in federal and state taxes.

New York authorities filed a demand for $1.8 million in back taxes against Marc Anthony on March 29, 2010 in Nassau County, Long Island. Just three months earlier, a federal tax lien for $1.6 million was placed on the same property owned by the I Need To Know singer.

It’s unclear if Anthony has settled the debt and requests for comment from his lawyer and manager were not returned.

Facing debt in excess of $3.4 million, it’s the latest tax trouble for the mult-millionaire musician, 41, who married J.Lo in 2004.

In 2007, he was ordered to pay $2.5 million in back taxes, after ignoring the tax man for four years.

Anthony claimed it was the fault of his business management company and ultimately paid the fine, however, his financial team plead guilty to a series of tax felonies.

[From Radar]

So if Anthony already got busted in 2007 for failing to pay taxes, you think he would wise up and hire someone decent to manage his money and ensure that his taxes got paid. He can’t just blame other people for it this time.

The Huffington Post points us to a 2008 article in People Magazine that estimated that Jennifer Lopez makes about $20 million a year from her fashion and merchandising deals while Anthony brings home about $11 million. Lopez’s American Idol contract is said to be worth about $12 million.

The Lopez-Anthonys just bought a a new $10 million estate in the Hollywood Hills. It is 17,129 square feet and has nine bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, a media room, recording studio and guest houses. They also own two mansions next to each other in Long Island and a condo in Miami. How can they be bothered to pay taxes when they have so many mansions, staff, cars and luxury goods to maintain?

Kate Hudson has been loved up with Muse’s Matthew Bellamy for much of the year. She jumped on him a couple of months after Alex Rodriguez dumped her, and, much like she does in every single relationship, Kate fell head over heels and began parading Matt around immediately. Well… maybe that’s unfair. They haven’t walked any red carpets together, and I’ve been feeling – especially in the past few months – that Kate is trying to keep this relationship slightly private. I think that because there’s aren’t a lot of recent photos of the two of them, but there may be another reason for that. According to Star Magazine, Matt is a little bit over Kate. To the point where he’s asked for a “break”.

Kate Hudson and her beau of seven months, Matthew Bellamy, were joined at the hip for most of the summer. But now the Muse vocalist is giving her a bit of the cold shoulder. Although the two have jet-setted together in Italy, England and New York, “He specifically asked Kate not to join him while he toured in Australia in early December,” an insider reveals.

“Matthew said he needed to focus while he was on the road, and Kate didn’t take that well. She thought everything was fine.”

Matthew tried to assure Kate, who spent her in time in LA with pals while the rocker was away, that he just wants a break, not a breakup.

“He explained that he needs a breather because he feels they jumped into things way too fast and that he does love her,” says the insider. “But Kate’s afraid he’s already checked out of the relationship.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Yeah, it sounds like he’s trying to dump her. As soon as a guy starts saying junk like “I do love you, and that’s why I think we should spend less time together” he’s trying to find a way to dump you. Of course, we are talking about Kate Hudson, the woman who introduces one-night-stands to her parents and her son. I’m not trying to slut-shame her, I’m just saying that in general, Kate might want to take it down a notch. She tends to go overboard, so maybe it’s nothing.

Just after celebrating Christmas in Namibia (with Empress Zahara’s magnificent shank-eye), the Jolie-Pitt family made their way to Missouri for the new year. That’s where Brad’s entire family lives – his parents, his brother Doug and his sister Julie, and all of their families. A few days ago, Angelina and the girls were spotted at a Springfield Barnes & Noble (photo here) and a K-Mart. Radar reports that they were only in town a few days before they flew to yet another destination (unknown). But before they left, Brad and Angelina took a tour of the St. John’s Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center, the center which Brad and Angelina helped fund through their foundation (photo here):

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the move again.

On Wednesday, just days after celebrating the holidays in Namibia, Africa, the couple made an impromptu stop at the St. John’s Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center in Springfield, Mo., the town where Pitt grew up.

“They called a little bit ahead, about an hour ahead, and requested to tour the pediatric center,” hospital spokesperson Cora Scott said Thursday. “They stayed about 45 minutes. It was a very nice visit.”

Last year, Pitt and Jolie, along with Pitt’s brother and sister and their families, donated $1 million to St. John’s Foundation for Community Health and dedicated the pediatric cancer center to Pitt’s mother, Jane.

“Jane Pitt is a gem in our community,” Scott said. “She’s a very wonderful woman who cares so very much about the well being of children.”

During the visit Wednesday, the Hollywood couple were accompanied by Pitt’s parents and his brother Doug.

According to Scott, Pitt and Jolie didn’t mention their New Year Eve’s plans, but for now it seems that the couple and their six kids are spending time with their extended family.

[From People]

That was nice of them. I like how focused they are on drawing attention to local Missouri charities as well as international charities. I think part of it is that Brad’s brother Doug is some big deal in Missouri… there were even rumors that Doug was considering a run for public office, which would be interesting. Anyway, happy New Year to the Jolie-Pitts. May they bring us more gossip in 2011.

Photos (from 2008) courtesy of WENN.

1. Hilary Duff
Posted: 2.23.2010
As I compiled this list at the beginning of the week, I found myself smiling when I saw the top post of 2010 because I completely forgot about these beautiful, almost quintessentially romantic set of photos. Here’s Hilary Duff accepting Mike Comrie’s proposal in literally the greatest way possible. Because, honestly, at Read More …

Russell Brand posts photo of Katy Perry without makeup. [Agent Bedhead]
Joe Francis copies Ryan Reynolds & ScarJo‘s split statement. [Dlisted]
Taylor Momsen covers another mag – this time, she‘s wearing pants. [ONTD]
Uh, guys? Paris Hilton looks kind of pregnant. [Celebuzz]
Pajiba‘s 50 Most Popular Posts of 2010. [Pajiba]
Naomi Watts looks good without makeup. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Scott Disick goes all Patrick Bateman on some paps. [PopBytes]
LeAnn Rimes‘ new boobs in a red bikini. [Radar]
Lisa Rinna goes makeup free with her daughters. [PopEater]
Ashley Greene is a bitch to fans. [IDLITW]
Empress Zahara on her way out of Missouri! [INFDaily]
Justin Timberlake‘s just-leaked new song. [The Frisky]
Miley Cyrus with her stylist (the one in all of those pics). [Bossip]
Queen Elizabeth‘s first great-grandchild is born. [LimeLife]
Pamela Anderson is PETA‘s Person of the Year. [Starpulse]
Cee Lo Green is teaming up with Gwyneth. Ugh. [A Socialite Life]

2. Miley Cyrus
Posted: 6.21.2010
Sometime around June 2010 it was determined that Miley Cyrus‘ stage show was missing a certain… something. And that something was her vagina. Not unlike ripping the governor off a car if cars had a vulva, Miley was set lose across Europe and the United States with specific instructions to vagina diddle Read More …

Being the loving husband that he is Russell Brand took a picture of Katy Perry as she’s waking up without her normal 800 miles of makeup on, and then posted it to Twitter. He’s since deleted it which is exactly what I would do once I remembered my wife’s breasts are ginormously awesome and I Read More …

So, they really are contagious. You win this round, racism. This round…
- Lisa Rinna tries to scare these kids to death.
- Joe Francis just ripped off Ryan Reynolds’ entire separation statement.
- JLo and Marc Anthony are tax evaders.
- Irina Shayk in lingerie.
- Montana Fishbourne chips away at her father’s Read More …