While her mom, and now dad, make their respective moves for the conservatorship they’ve always dreamed of, Lindsay Lohan is getting support from a man who has to have made her new publicist shit at least five kittens if not a pack of marmosets. RadarOnline reports:
“I think she’s doing the best that she can,” Read More …

Jenny McCarthy has been all over the place this week, promoting her new book, Love, Lust and Faking It. She memorably went on Oprah and talked about breaking up with Jim Carrey because it “wasn’t fun anymore.” She also talked about her hairy cooter. Yeah. I actually watched 20 minutes of Oprah’s interview with Jenny and I came out of it… well, I still think Jenny is a vapid a–hole who should seriously consider growing up. But I revise my opinion of her from the other day – I don’t think she’s malicious, and I don’t think she spoke about Jim or their relationship with any sort of meanness. I respected that she made the effort to talk about her responsibility in the breakup, and all of that. So: still a vapid a–hole, but she’s got a few good qualities.

That being said, f-ck me, she grates on my nerves. She did another interview, this time with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush. Bush gets her to talk about her dong rules, how horny she is, and how she fantasizes about Brad Pitt peeing on her (I think):

Move over “Cougar Town,” Jenny McCarthy is the real deal. In a new – and quite outrageous– interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush, the uncensored former Playboy Playmate revealed that in her late 30s, she’s feeling sexier – and more lustful — than ever.

“Dispel a myth for men: Do women lust as much as men lust?” Billy asked Jenny in the interview promoting her sexy new book, “Love, Lust & Faking It: The Naked Truth about Sex, Lies, And True Romance.”

“No, you guys! I mean, mind you, as we get older, I’ve noticed, now being 37, I’m much more horny than I was in my 20s,” she said.

“How horny are you – scale of 1-10?” Billy asked.

“I’m about a 9.8,” Jenny laughed, uproariously.

The blonde bombshell didn’t stop there – in her book, she sets the story straight on “man junk”… so Billy asked her the question men really want to know.

“Does size matter?” he probed.

“Size definitely helps, but the thing is, you don’t need big,” she said. “Average is awesome. Standard issue is awesome!”

While Jenny is happy to talk about sex, she revealed she’s been rather prudent on another sexual matter.

“Do you have a sex tape?” Billy asked.

“Oh, I love that question. No I don’t have a sex tape and I’m kind of upset that I don’t. You know why? ‘Cause I’m really good,” she laughed.

Jenny’s book gets into bisexuality, something in which Jenny admits to have dabbled.

“Do you like girls or no?” Billy asked.

“Me being a Playmate? Of course. Being around naked women, something is going to happen,” she revealed. “Yeah, I’ve played around.”

In addition to a host of sexy revelations, Jenny’s book also includes secrets from her dreams – one of which featured Brad Pitt.

“My [dream] night with Brad Pitt in the book is one of the best nights ever,” she said. “He’s just as hot as you think he is; his butt is beautiful and he can pee like a race horse. That’s all I can tell you ‘cause Angelina might be mad.”

[From Access Hollywood]

Are we still finding this kind of junk “naughty”? That’s how Jenny is playing it. Like, “Oooh, I just said ‘penis’! HAHA, I’m in middle school! Hold this pickle!” Also, I’m so over women talking about how great they are in bed. Jenny might be awesome in bed, but unless we’re the guy buying you martinis at the Ramada bar, stop telling people that. Personally, I prefer the opener (for men and women): “I’m horrible in bed. I have issues.” It’s a better conversational gambit, honestly. If (and when) a guy says that to me, I’ll be all “Ooh, tell me!” You get it all out in the open, and if you end up sleeping with the person, you either meet their low expectations or you exceed them. Think about it!

Yesterday, Us Weekly released online one part of a large Jennifer Aniston piece from their print edition. I covered it here – the story was mostly about Jennifer’s casual, sexual relationship with Josh Hopkins, a second-tier television actor on Cougar Town. Hopkins sounded like a major douche in the Us Weekly story, like a 40-something a–hole obessed with dating younger women and casually referring to Aniston as his “sport f-ck”. Now I’ve gotten a chance to read the full Us Weekly story (in the print edition), and I see where they were going with this. The whole piece is about how Jennifer really likes the way her personal life is going these days, but that she doesn’t want to go public with how she really is with men – basically, she loves having casual, sexual relationships with douches and a–holes who treat her like crap, and she’s afraid if people figure out that she doesn‘t really give a sh-t about “settling down with a nice guy” and “having babies,” she will no longer be “America’s Sweetheart”. Here’s a bit more:

It’s become a ritual for Jennifer Aniston. She gives an interview pagged to her most recent romantic comedy. The topic of marriage and children not-so casually arises. Then she gives the same optimistic and affirmative answer about how she’s still holding out for true love.

But it turns out her well-honed mantra is wearing thin, because contrary to her lovelorn image, the star quietly evolved into a serial dater this past summer. Not only did her relationship with Josh Hopkins go on longer than most realized, but she also dated Chris Gartin and Harry Morton. Sources say all the bachelors, like John Mayer before them, share alarming character traits: boyish, cocky, and commitment-phobic.

Still, Aniston can’t help herself.

“No woman ever like thinking of themselves being attracted to asses,” says one insider, “But frankly, you have to have a lot of confidence to ask out Jennifer Aniston, and guys with that much confidence tend to be full of themselves!”

Not that the star will ever open up about her secret side. Five years after her split from brad, insiders tell Us she’s reluctant to change her good-girl-who-just-wants-a-family image.

“She thinks that whole ‘America’s sweetheart’ thing will go away if she comes clean,” says one source. “But the reality is that I can’t see her settling down and starting a family. She likes dating and having a good time. And these guys are her type.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Us Weekly then goes through the three men – Hopkins, Gartin, and Harry Morton. We heard about Hopkins yesterday, and there’s not much new stuff for the other players. Oh, re: Hopkins – apparently he’s been gossiping about Aniston all over the place, and one source says: “He has to be careful. He can’t piss off Courteney.” At this point, I think Courteney has heard and seen it all, Josh. Regarding Harry Morton, they basically just say they went out a few times and he likely went over to Jennifer’s house to bone her. Morton is decribed as “very cool” and funny, but one bitchy source says: “I can’t believe she was fine with taking Lohan’s sloppy seconds!” Only Gartin seems kind of like a keeper, but he’s already moved on to another girl (and he’s still mid-divorce).

On one side, I think it’s tedious and dumb to call out any woman for dating and sleeping around and having fun. I mean, it’s Aniston’s life, and I don’t judge her for not being in a steady relationship. I do judge her for creating the fraud of this “nice girl” who just wants a nice guy to have lots and lots of babies, though. Oh, she’s everybody’s sweet girlfriend! No, she’s not. She’s a middle-aged lady with a masochistic streak who likes to get laid, but she‘s too busy playing the victim to acknowledge it. Frankly, I prefer that Aniston. If only she would just be that woman, openly and honestly. The mirage of the America’s Sweetheart tag… it will end up suffocating her.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Shakira‘s new video, “Loca”. As in, it’s loca how much weight she’s lost. [Bossip]
These are possibly Kim Kardashian‘s worst “modeling” shots ever. [Yeeah]
Mike Tyson reenacts Bobby Brown. [PopEater]
Justin Timberlake is practically rubbing one out for his acting career. [A Socialite Life]
Paz de la Huerta goes naked (NSFW). [Celebslam]
Your table awaits you, Gloria Swanson, er, I mean Bar Refaeli. [Go Fug Yourself]
Heidi Montag calls off her divorce. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Kate Gosselin takes her concrete tits for a jog. [INFDaily]
Some of the late Tony Curtis‘s LOLCat paintings. [CityRag]
A little Matt Bomer, in leather. [Accidental Sexiness]
Swifty‘s polka dots are fug. [Hollywood Rag]
Heidi Klum quit Vicky‘s Secret. No more angel wings! [Celebnewswire]
OOH, Brad Goreski is maybe bitter about Rachel Zoe. Do tell! [The Frisky]
Ryan Reynolds talks about ‘Buried‘. [Cinematical/Moviefone]
Selena Gomez is a cutie. [Starpulse]
I wish this blind item was about Christine Amanpour. [Crazy Days and Nights]

- Paris Hilton and her boyfriend ran over a pap last night because, haven’t you heard? It’s “Celebrity Do Whatever The Fuck You Want Month.”
- Tony Curtis, RIP.
- Snooki is writing a book. Somewhere, even Satan is going, “You gotta be shitting me.”
- Mel Gibson dropped the baby, too. Of course. Read More …

Jamie Oliver, celebrity chef and father of four, is taking on celebrity children in a new interview. According to Oliver, celebrity kids are for the most part “little sh-ts” and that “I think few children of famous people succeed.” The newspaper points out that he was mostly directing his comments at people like Peaches Geldof (ha) and Calum Best (who is the son of a famous footballer, I believe). Of course, I want to point out that Jamie Oliver’s kids are not only too young to be included in Jamie’s diatribe, but that Jamie and his wife Jools have given them added headaches by naming them: Poppy Honey Rosie (born 18 March 2002), Daisy Boo Pamela (born 10 April 2003) and Petal Blossom Rainbow (born 3 April 2009); and son Buddy Bear Maurice (born 15 September 2010). I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if my parents named me something like Poppy Petal Bear, I MIGHT have a drug problem.

JAMIE Oliver has branded celebrities’ children “little sh*ts”. The gobby telly chef, 35, claims most of them do not have a clue how to behave.
He admitted his own brood will have to work harder to get around the stigma of having a well-known dad.

And he fumed over celeb sons and daughters such as Calum Best, 29, and Peaches Geldof, 21, who are often accused of doing nothing but leeching off their parents’ fame.

Jamie stormed that “most of them are little sh*ts”, adding: “I think few children of famous people succeed.”

He went on to say he was petrified about how his own kids would deal with his celeb status. Jamie, who is worth £65million, recently became a father for the fourth time after wife Jools, 35, gave birth to son Buddy Bear.

He said: “My kids are always going to be labelled as ‘Jamie’s child’ so they will need to work harder than anyone else. I think my children are very lucky, apart from having me as a dad.”

But he did cite one example of a great celeb kid, Stella McCartney, 39, fashion designer daughter of Beatles legend Sir Paul, 68.

He said: “I think Stella’s an exception. That would be nice if my kids could be independent and creative and happy like that.”

As well as their newborn son, Jamie and Jools have three other daughters, Poppy Honey, eight, Daisy Boo, seven, and 17-month-old Blossom Rainbow.

[From The Daily Star]

Okay, so Stella McCartney is obviously cool in Jamie’s book, but what about the other McCartney kids? Didn’t Paul and Linda have, like, three other kids? I guess they’re all crap. As are all people with famous parents who don’t manage to become famous fashion designers with enough money to eat at one of Jamie’s fancy restaurants. Whatever.

Header: Jamie in May, credit: WENN.

The icons always pass away in threes, people. I know it’s an old-wives’ tale, but it’s so, so true. First it was Eddie Fisher, then Gloria Stuart, and now Tony Curtis. Curtis passed away last night at his Las Vegas home. He was 85 years old, and it looks like he died of a heart attack/cardiac arrest. MSNBC has an extensive biography here.

Tony Curtis, the Bronx tailor’s son who became a 1950s movie heartthrob and then a respected actor with such films as “Sweet Smell of Success,” “The Defiant Ones” and “Some Like It Hot,” has died. He was 85.

The actor died at 9:25 p.m. MDT Wednesday at his Las Vegas area home of a cardiac arrest, Clark County Coroner Mike Murphy said Thursday. Entertainment Tonight first reported the news of Curtis’s death, citing a representative for the actor’s daughter, Jamie Lee Curtis.

After a series of frivolous movies that exploited his handsome physique and appealing personality, Curtis moved to more substantial roles, starting in 1957 in the harrowing show business tale “Sweet Smell of Success.”

In 1958, “The Defiant Ones” brought him an Academy Award nomination as best actor for his portrayal of a white racist escaped convict handcuffed to a black escapee, Sidney Poitier. The following year, he donned women’s clothing and sparred with Marilyn Monroe in one of the most acclaimed film comedies ever, Billy Wilder’s “Some Like It Hot.”

“He was great fun to work with. He had a great sense of humor, wonderful ad-libs. We had the best of times. He was a very fine actor,” Sir Roger Moore, the former Bond star who worked with Curtis on the television show “The Persuaders!,” told Britain’s Sky News.

“I shall miss him. I find it very difficult to sum up my emotions here in a couple of seconds.”

Asked in a 2008 interview with Matt Lauer on NBC News’ TODAY if his good looks were a blessing or a curse, Curtis drew laughs by saying “I never found them a curse. No, I loved it.”

His first wife was actress Janet Leigh of “Psycho” fame; actress Jamie Lee Curtis is their daughter.

In addition to movies, Curtis secured a place in popular culture, appearing on the cover of The Beatles’s “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club” album and by voicing the character “Stony Curtis” on the cartoon “The Flintstones.”

In later years, he returned to film and television as a character actor after battling drug and alcohol abuse. His brash optimism returned, and he allowed his once-shiny black hair to turn silver. He also became a painter whose canvasses are displayed in galleries around the world.

“I’m not ready to settle down like an elderly Jewish gentleman, sitting on a bench and leaning on a cane,” he said at 60. “I’ve got a helluva lot of living to do.”

Curtis perfected his craft in forgettable films such as “Francis,” “I Was a Shoplifter,” “No Room for the Groom” and “Son of Ali Baba.”

Other prestigious films followed: Stanley Kubrick’s “Spartacus,” “Captain Newman, M.D.,” “The Vikings,” “Kings Go Forth,” “Operation Petticoat” and “Some Like It Hot.” He also found time to do a voice acting gig as his prehistoric lookalike, Stony Curtis, in an episode of “The Flintstones.” “The Defiant Ones” remained his only Oscar-nominated role.

He had married Janet Leigh in 1951, when they were both rising young stars; they divorced in 1963.

“Tony and I had a wonderful time together; it was an exciting, glamorous period in Hollywood,” Leigh, who died in 2004, once said. “A lot of great things happened, most of all, two beautiful children.”

[From MSNBC]

Yes, poor Jamie Lee Curtis – I’m sure she’s probably heartbroken, although she insinuated throughout the years that she kind of thought her father was an a–hole, but she still loved him a lot.

My favorite of Tony’s films is, of course, Some Like It Hot. The behind-the-scenes stories on that one are almost as good as the film – Curtis and Marilyn Monroe absolutely hated each other, but Curtis and Jack Lemmon were lifelong friends. I think it was on TCM that I also heard Tony Curtis speak about his lifelong admiration for Cary Grant, whom he worked with a handful of times. They worked together on my second favorite Tony Curtis film, Operation Petticoat.

Sigh… rest in peace, you mensch.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

For the past I don’t even know how many months (three?), we’ve been hearing about Jessica Simpson’s new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, and what a loser he is. He’s a reitred NFL player who was supposed to go to Wharton Business School but ended up dropping out so he could spend more time with Jessica and her boobs and her money. We’ve heard many, many stories about how Jessica is paying for everything in the relationship (including her own jewelry, which Eric then “gives” her), and how Jessica – in her own words – feels “lucky” to be with a jobless business school dropout. Lately, however, her friends have really started going to the press (as unnamed sources) to bitch about Eric. This happened last week with Us Weekly’s hilarious bitchfest about Jessica and her gay BFF Ken Paves breaking up – Camp Paves leaked lots of funny quotes. Now Us Weekly has another hit piece:

Is Jessica Simpson’s flame dating her for fame? Eric Johnson, 31, “was never that successful in the NFL, but he’s always wanted the celebrity lifestyle,” a source tells Hot Stuff. “I believe that Jessica is his way to get famous. He’s using her.”

And it’s working out well for him, adds the insider: “She pays for most things. He doesn’t have the kind of money for first-class plane tickets or private jets.”

Some of her pals suspect the athlete – who is divorcing his wife of five years, stylist Keri Johnson – is in it for the perks.

“Eric doesn’t have a job, he just follows her around,” adds a second insider. “Her friends do not trust him.”

Still, a Simpson source counters that Johnson “has his own money from real estate properties,” and his lawyer, Richard Stilz, tells Us Weekly, “This has nothing to do with greed or fame. He cares a lot for Jessica and doesn’t care a hoot about her money.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Granted, I’ve never heard Eric speak, but he strikes me as kind of a dumb guy. Do I think that about every guy who dates Jessica? Sure. I just don’t see how you could possibly have continued conversations with her. But if you’re her boyfriend and you get to have sex with her, it’s probably more interesting. So – is Eric a dumb guy who just fell in love with equally dumb Jessica, or is Eric some kind of brilliant slacker who is simply happy to be supported by the woman who adores him? Eh.

I’m not sure how you bitches feel when we cover pure media stories, but this gossip pretty juicy. Apparently, Katie Couric’s CBS contract comes up for renewal next May, and Page Six’s sources claim that she’s thinking about leaving her gig as anchor of CBS’s Evening News. They also think that Couris might go back to the Today show, because apparently, Meredith Vieira is also considering leaving, because her husband is sick and she wants to spend more time with her family:

Katie Couric might end up back on the “Today” show when her “CBS Evening News” contract expires at the end of May. A spot will be open because Meredith Vieira is expected to leave “Today” to spend more time with her family.

Sources say Couric had been talking with her old friend Jeff Zucker, her producer at “Today” before he rose to CEO of NBC-Universal. But Zucker’s just-announced exit from the network won’t preclude a Couric move to NBC.

She’s also lunched with Time Warner chairman Jeff Bewkes, whose empire includes CNN. Sources also say she gets along famously with CBS boss Les Moonves and might stay with the Tiffany Network, although for a much lower paycheck than the $15 million a year she’s said to be making now.

[From Page Six]

I kind of think it would be a dumb move for Couric to go back to Today. Even though she would probably get a lucrative contract, everyone would be like “Oh, she couldn’t hack the hard news, she had to go back to morning television.” I don’t think that – I think Couric has ended up being a solid anchor, with a few bumps here and there. I also think it would be step down to go from network news to CNN – especially since CNN’s ratings are plummeting. Of course, CBS’s ratings aren’t awesome (for the news anyway).

Almost immediately after Greg Giraldo’s death, Gilbert Gottfried took to Twitter to be the first to make an obvious joke about his late friend that ruffled a few oversensitive feathers. Even more surprising, Gilbert Gottfried uses Twitter:
If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the “Greg Giraldo Roast”?
Look, I don’t want to sit here and Read More …