I get that some (many?) of you don’t care for Scarlett Johansson. Personally, I don’t hate or love her. She seems to be one of the more talented actresses working today, but I’m basing that on my love of Match Point. She’s pretty when she’s not styled to look corpsey. And she’s generally pretty quiet, which is good, because in interviews I do think she comes across as dull and full of herself. Example: the Parade interview, below, where Scarlett is waxing rhapsodically about how she doesn’t want to be “just… the sensual vision in a tight outfit.” Girl… you’re in a catsuit, and the studio Photoshopped your boobs, waist and hips in the posters. Let’s have no more of this “I want to be more than just a sensual vision” talk. Now, if I wanted to be harsh, I would just say, “Bitch, the jig is up.” Sidenote: who says crap like “sensual vision” in everyday conversation anyway?

“When you have a girl swinging around by her ankles in a cat suit, that’s innately sexy, but she’s also intelligent, ambitious, motivated and calculated. I’ve never really seen a film of this genre where there’s more than sex appeal to the female characters. I would find it boring to be just a pawn in a film about a whole bunch of men fighting it out and rolling around and getting down and dirty. I didn’t want to just be the sensual vision in a tight outfit,” said Johansson.

Scarlett Johansson scored the coveted role of deadly superspy Black Widow in Iron Man 2. She joins Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow to help take out a whole new bunch of bad guys. Parade.com’s Jeanne Wolf found out that the startlingly fit Johansson wants people to notice more than her curves in a skin-tight costume.

Looking razor sharp and buff.
“I was eating really, really clean. But you can’t deprive yourself. That’s when you really get in trouble because you have like low energy and feel deprived. I was constantly eating, but it was all super clean food, a lot of veggies and protein, that kind of thing. It makes you feel good, especially when you are exercising. I felt really strong, efficient and athletic, all of those things. It helped me to feel confident about my physicality. It was one less thing to worry about.”

As for that uber sexy black suit.
“Playing the Black Widow, I’m so physically active that the suit was the last thing I was thinking about. It was almost an afterthought. I went through months and months of training, so by the time I put on the suit I was ready to go. It was tight, but not too tight. The biggest problem was that it was so hot. I can tell you that being encased in Lycra makes you sweat when you’re doing stunts and wire work.”

Could the Black Widow get a film of her own?
“I would absolutely love to carry the legacy of the Black Widow forward. There’s a lot to explore there. I think the audience would like this character and like me as this character. I just finished a four month run on Broadway, so I’m taking a little time right now to kind of plan the next move.”

After a year-and-a-half of marriage to Ryan Reynolds.
“I make no big proclamations, nothing. It’s not necessarily getting married that changes something that’s between two people. It doesn’t involve anyone else other than family, children. I think there are couples that are not married in long term relationships that live the same day to day life. But I think good things come with time when you are set with somebody.”

Taking time off is hard to do.
“I don’t mind spending a little bit of time off, everybody needs a vacation, but I have a job that I like to do. If I hadn’t worked for three months, I might be going, ‘What am I going to do?’ You know, there’s only so long you can play golf or whatever, not that I play golf. But sure, I like to travel and vacation, see friends– all that. But I love what I do. I’m happiest when I have something to focus my energy on.”

[From Parade]

Yeah, the rest of the interview is pretty basic, although I did like the line “I make no big proclamations, nothing. It’s not necessarily getting married that changes something that’s between two people.” I think she’s just saying “It changed something for me, but I don’t speak for every married person.”

Oh, and you know the alleged fight between ScarJo and Gwyneth? I just read this quote from Gwyneth about what she thought when she first saw ScarJo in her catsuit: “I thought “Wow that is hot, that is hot right there. She was so great to work with; she is a really smart, cool funny girl. It was nice to have another girl on set this time to talk about girl stuff with, it was great.” Talk about “stuff”. Like how ScarJo doesn’t have an Oscar, and how Goopy is going to cut her.

Dolce & Gabbana ad featuring ScarJo, courtesy of HuffPo. Promotional Iron Man 2 images from Popoholic.

Michelle Trachtenberg gained some weight, but I think she looks good. [Celebslam]
Brad Pitt takes the kids to the park again. Shiloh & the Empress are having a blast. [A Socialite Life]
Britney Murphy‘s widower and her mom might be living together. [Crazy Days and Nights]
The Bieb is going through some changes. [Agent Bedhead]
Sh-t, did Trista Sutter honestly name her kid “Blakesley”?[Celebrity Baby Scoop]
The immortal genius Bill Murray answers some questions. [Moviefone]
The Hoff‘s ex-wife is in jail. [LimeLife]
Melissa Etheridge‘s new video. [PopBytes]
Bedhead‘s career assessment of Jim Carrey. [Pajiba]
The trailer for Johan Hex (starring Megan Fox). [I Don’t Like You In That Way]
Grace Jones: still an insane bitch. [Hollywood Rag]
Jerry O‘Connell with his baby girls. Warning: this photo will melt your heart. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
David Arquette gave his Lakers courtside seats to some veterans. Awesome. [ICYDK]
Former Miss USA Tara Connor did Oprah, and no one cared. [Bitten and Bound]
New promo images of Eclipse. Sparkles in seafoam green! [Starpulse]
Whitney Port looks like she‘s got a biscuit on her head. [The Frisky]

Conan O’Brien is finally talking to the press about the late-night battle with NBC that left him temporarily unemployed. In a 60 Minutes interview yet to be aired, Conan is careful with his words, but he makes one thing clear: if the situation with NBC and Jay Leno had been reversed, he would not have taken over the show again the way Leno did.

In his first televised interview since his late night dethroning, Conan O’Brien says he never would have acted like Jay Leno if their “Tonight Show” roles had been reversed.

“He went and took that show back and I think in a similar situation, if roles had been reversed, I know – I know me, I wouldn’t have done that,” O’Brien, says in the interview scheduled to air on ‘60 Minutes’ on Sunday.

“If I had surrendered ‘The Tonight Show’ and handed it over to somebody publicly and wished them well — and then … six months later,” he added. “But that’s me, you know. Everyone’s got their own, you know, way of doing things.”

Asked by correspondent Steve Kroft what he would have done, O’Brien says, “Done something else, go someplace else. I mean, that’s just me.”

O’Brien eventually left NBC thinking “this relationship is going be toxic and maybe we just need to go our separate ways.” He is set to host a talk show on TBS following his comedy tour.

According to the New York Times, O’Brien held back on criticizing NBC too much because of his buyout and agreement to not disparage Leno or executives. He refuses to bite when Kroft suggests he “got screwed.” O’Brien responds, “No, I didn’t. I’m fine.”

When he’s asked if Leno lobbied to regain the show, O’Brien says simply, “I don’t know.”

When asked if Leno acted less than honorably, O’Brien hesitated and then said, “I can’t answer that.”

[From PopEater]

I’d just like to clarify that Leno didn’t technically “surrender” the Tonight Show: NBC, for whatever reason, let him go. While Leno’s conduct hasn’t been the greatest in this whole mess, most of the blame should be laid at the feet of NBC for cooking up this scheme in the first place. They were the ones who pushed Leno out, gave Conan the spot, and then decided to put Leno on at 10 p.m., which caused a ratings catastrophe for Conan’s show. Let’s be real: trained monkeys probably could have done a better job programming the NBC lineup. But it’s all good now, because Conan will have his own show at 11 pm on TNT,and his current tour featuring Triumph the insult comic dog, Andy Richter and an unpredictable set of famous guest stars, including Jim Carrey, is keeping Conan busier than ever. Yeah, I’d say he’s over it.

This is just another in a long line of Photoshopped-to-death images from Sarah Jessica Parker and the Sex and the City girls. But this new poster is kind of epic in its Photoshop hell. As Michael K point out, Kim Cattrall seems to have an entirely new face. Jezebel also pointed out that they did something to make Sarah Jessica’s eyes too close together, that Kim’s body looks pasted on another person’s body, and that Kristin Davis seems to have gotten a magically enlarged rack. But you know what I love? I love that they’ve Photoshopped SJP to look mid-orgasm, yet Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon both have “What’s that stank?” expressions. Seriously, what does smell? Must be the Gristle.

But is it really that terrible? Okay, yes, it is. But is it any worse than this?

Or how about this?

At this point, the producers just should have invested in a cartoon of Sex and the City. It would probably be less work than trying to make Sarah Jessica Parker look anything less than deathly.

Sidenote: What’s with all the f-cking sparkles in the sand? Unless Robert Pattinson is involved, I’m not interested.

Posters courtesy of ScreenCave.

Here’s Jersey Shore’s Pauly D picking up some chicks in Miami yesterday and despite the fact MTV continues to embolden the robots by proving Americans will spend 60 minutes staring at anything bright and shiny, you really can’t fault… …read full story

Do you know how much I love this? This is my favorite story of the week, and I’m even counting the Sandra Bullock stories. I just love when my Johnny Weir gets his claws out! Now, the summary of Johnny’s feud with Evan Lysacek comes from People Magazine, and they got several wonderful and bitchy quotes from Johnny himself. However, I don’t like how People decided to “begin” (chronologically) the war of attrition between Evan and Johnny. These two have been trading snotty asides, rolled eyes, bitchfaces and, in Johnny’s case, an outing with a jaunty wink - all for the better part of a year, if not longer. But the Best Diva War Ever gained more steam when Evan sat down for a recent interview and basically said Johnny wasn’t a good ice skater – oh, snap. Here you go, savor it:

When skating rivals Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir were battling for a spot on the Olympic podium at the Vancouver Winter Games in February, Weir remarked that showdown would be a great “catfight.”

The dust-up intensified this week off the ice as Olympic gold medalist Lysacek, competing on Dancing with the Stars, and Weir, a three-time U.S. Champion, traded slurs and barbs.

“We are at war,” Weir told PEOPLE on Thursday. “My claws are out.”

The latest round of mudslinging began when Lysacek suggested earlier this week that a lack of talent kept Weir off the cast of the traveling Smucker’s Stars on Ice. “They only hire the best of the best to skate,” Lysacek told the Indianapolis Star. “A lot of us in the skating world were really disappointed in the way he reacted, basically whining that he wasn’t chosen.”

Harsh Words Exchanged
The flamboyant Weir claims the show didn’t hire him because he didn’t fit the tour’s “family-friendly” profile – a charge Stars on Ice denies. Weir also went on the attack against Lysacek, calling him a “slore” – an apparent combination of “slut” and “whore” – on the The Wendy Williams Show on Wednesday.

Then on Thursday in New York, where he announced their “war,” Weir added, “I’ve never whined. I wasn’t the one who falls dancing and gets a concussion and breaks toes and has hip replacement surgeries. If anyone whines, it’s definitely Evan. He’s done that his whole career, and I’ve never said anything about it just because there was no need.”

Weir, who is opening the season for Ice Theatre of New York at Chelsea Piers, added, “I have no respect for Evan Lysacek.” He is encouraging fans not to vote for his rival on Dancing with the Stars.

But there may a truce on the horizon. In a statement to PEOPLE, Lysacek says he wants to end the feud, even though Weir had said hurtful things. Extending an olive branch, he’s calling Weir “an accomplished and talented skater” and wishing him well at his New York show.

“I let my personal feelings cloud my judgment in how I answered a journalist’s question about Stars on Ice and Johnny that I should never have answered,” says Lysacek. “I should have known better.”

[From People Magazine]

You know what? This isn’t one of those occasions where I can see both sides. I really think Evan was being a massive bitch when he said, “They only hire the best of the best to skate… A lot of us in the skating world were really disappointed in the way he reacted, basically whining that he wasn’t chosen.” First point: Johnny is a very good skater. One of the best in the world. He’s not The Best, but he’s certainly good enough to be chosen for Stars on Ice, and he certainly would have improved ticket sales. Second point: Johnny actually didn’t “whine” in any way, shape or form about not being chosen. GLAAD made Weir’s exclusion public, and Johnny merely confirmed his exclusion with the statement: “It’s for real. All because I am not family friendly enough. I understand I am a little outrageous but I wish I could perform for the fans.” Simple.

As for how Johnny reacted, what with all of the “slore” talk and basically issuing a sparkly, bedazzled, tasseled fatwa against Evan, I do think that he’s just having fun. It’s not like he’s really trying to destroy Evan, he just wants everyone to enjoy a hilarious catfight.

That one ball had a lot of juice left in it, right? Ugh. Too much? My bad. Lance Armstrong is expecting his fifth child! Congratulations to him and his child minions. Lance has three children with his ex-wife Kristin, and this will be his second child with his current girlfriend Anna Hansen. Lance announced the news by starting a new Twitter account for the baby called “CincoArmstrong”. Which actually made me chuckle. Here’s more:

Congrats are in order for cycling champ Lance Armstrong: he’s expecting his fifth child!

The 38-year-old athlete and girlfriend Anna Hansen will welcome their second child together this October.

Armstrong announced the news in a novel way: by creating a Twitter account for the unborn kid, “Cincoarmstrong.”

The baby’s first entries: “I got 2 arms, 2 legs, a nickname, and [I’m] 2 inches long. See y’all in October…I’m now the size of a lemon, 3.5 inches long, and weigh 1.5 ounces. And oh yeah, I’m on Twitter.”

Added the child’s dad via his own Twitter. “What to say? Yet another blessing in our lives. I cannot wait!”

The athlete then confirmed the news to his hometown paper, the Austin-American Statesmen. The future child’s future name could be Jack or Olivia, the paper reports.

Armstrong and Hansen welcomed son Maxwell Edward 10 months ago. The Tour de France winner and cancer survivor has three kids with ex-wife Kristin: 8-year old twin girls Isabelle and Grace and son Luke, 11.

[From Us Weekly]

Correct me if I’m wrong, anybody, but wasn’t one of the biggest rumors regarding Lance’s split with Sheryl Crow that she wanted a baby and he wasn’t that interested? Right? I remember hearing that a lot, and it always struck me as weird that he jumps into another relationship and starts having babies. Strange. But whatever, he seems thrilled that he’s going to be a father for the fifth time, so God bless.

Header photo: Lance & Anna at The Elysee Palace on March 22, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Gabriel Aubry has reportedly kicked Halle Berry to the curb but at least was decent enough to do it before he stuck his penis in much younger women who aren’t aging before his eyes. And thanks to Tiger Woods… …read full story

Over the past month, the tabloids have been wondering aloud yet again if Tori Spelling is “scary skinny”. At first I defended her, as I usually do. But then I saw some other photos of her, and yes, she is definitely at the “scary skinny” phase. But not according to Tori’s mom Candy! Candy thinks we’re all haters or something. Candy’s defense? Tori has always been scary skin. Something like that:

Candy Spelling, 64, defended jabs about daughter Tori, 36, despite the Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood star’s increasingly shrinking size.

“Tori has always been thin,” she told Hot Stuff at the Broadway opening of Promises, Promises in NYC April 25. “This morning, I was lounging around and saw [Tori's 1996 TV movie] Deadly Pursuit. She was thin there.”

Candy also disputes tabloid Star’s recent report that she can’t stand her daughter’s husband of four years, Dean McDermott, 43, and offered Tori $10 million to leave him.

“Our lawyers wrote very strong letters,” says Candy. “It’s not true.”

[From US Weekly, print edition, May 10, 2010]

Well, I’m glad that’s taken care of. I’m of the generation that grew up on 90210, and while I can say for sure that Tori has always been slender – excepting those hideous implants – she hasn’t always been this thin. This is something that’s been happening over the past year, and denial isn’t helping.

Meanwhile, reports indicate that Tori is working on a deal with ABC for her own daytime talk show. According to the LAT (via Access Hollywood): “The network is said to be looking to create a “Will & Grace” style atmosphere between Tori and a potential co-host, who has not yet been selected.” I hate to say this, but… that’s honestly not the worst idea. I’m sure it will crash and burn, of course, but I could see Tori and some random, bitchy gay dude being absolutely hilarious together.

This week’s Star Magazine has a short interview with Sarah Jessica Parker as part of her early promotion for Sex and the City 2. Of course this one isn’t going to be as in-depth as SJP’s epic Vogue profile, where she admitted that she didn’t bring her newborn twins to Morocco, where SATC was filming, and that she didn’t see them “except for Skype” for “nearly two months”. After that little revelation, SJP then spent too much time trying to convince everyone that she was just a normal – nay, GREAT – mom. When asked by the Vogue interviewer “How many people work for you?” SJP‘s answer was this: “We painted our patio furniture ourselves. I make my children’s food myself. We put together their high chairs ourselves; we do a lot ourselves! We do our own grocery shopping, we go to the market ourselves, you know? I do my laundry.” Oh, and another one of my favorites – why did SJP want another baby? ““I didn’t want [James Wilke] to have to shoulder the burden of us—later in life—by himself.”

So, basically, we’re going to be hearing a lot more about how SJP left her much-needed newborn girls in the care of someone for seven weeks while she filmed another hyper-consumerism, horrible, fake film. Prepare yourself. This is SJP’s current version – I guarantee she’ll have a new version for Oprah:

Star: How did you enjoy shooting overseas?
I loved Morocco. I didn’t realize Marrakesh was such a bustling city. We went away for seven weeks, and that was a great advantage because, as opposed to filming in New York, no one cares who we were.

Star: Were you able to take the twins?
No, and I have enormous regrets about that. They couldn’t travel at the time, because they were too young to get the right shots.

Star: You already have a 7-year-old son. How much harder is it raising two babies at once?
It couldn’t be more different. I mean, just one alone is daunting, with the diapers, the ointments, the bottles, the pacifiers. You’re carrying suitcases! There is so much more planning it’s like a military operation.

Star: How are you and Matthew adjusting?
It’s wonderful. We didn’t want twins, but it’s a blessing. They are as different as can be in every way, and I think it’s good for them that they will be their own people.

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

See, I do think she’s being honest. I bet she really does regret leaving the babies for seven weeks – although it was probably closer to eight or nine weeks, considering that Vogue profile took place after she finished filming in Morocco, and she was staying in London, relaxing and shopping after her grueling film schedule. So, she regrets it. And nothing huge happened, and I’m sure the babies were just fine, and Matthew Broderick and the nannies took great care of the babies. But the simple fact that SJP did make the final decision to leave them for so long speaks volumes to me, her “regrets” or not.

And besides all of that, why the hell did they need to film in Morocco anyway? One of the great joys of the television series was seeing the women in their world, New York City. Ugh.

SJP on in NYC on April 23 & 29, 2010 Credit: Pacific Coast News.