Since it’s crazy slow around the gossip world today, I thought I’d show this totally jacked new trailer from the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. I think I heard they were remaking this junk at some point last year, but I didn’t really pay attention to it. Anyway, the film comes out in April, and they just put out a longer theatrical trailer a few days ago. I have to admit something… this doesn’t look terrible. Yes, it looks very derivative of the old ones, and yes, some of the shots look totally unoriginal, but the remake has one very good thing going for it: Jackie Earle Haley is the new Freddy Krueger. And he’s f-cking terrifying.

Ever since I finally sat down and watch Haley’s Oscar-nominated performance in Little Children, I’ve been one of his biggest fans. As a former child star who had left Hollywood with a whimper rather than a bang, Haley made the most of his return to Hollywood, taking a series of supporting parts, like his part in the recent hit Shutter Island, or his brilliant turn in the ensemble Watchmen (where he played Rorschach, and you barely saw his face). I’ve seen Haley interviewed, and he comes across as one of the nicest, most soft-spoken men you’d ever want to meet. But put him in front a camera with a script that calls for “creepy” and Haley does it better than nearly anyone else.

So, basically, I’m kind of hoping this remake is a big hit, just so Haley will have some steady paychecks and better career longevity.

Oh, and Kellan Lutz is in too. Now that is a seriously creepy dude. He’s like Scott Disick… serial killer eyes.

It’s been getting way too heavy around here, so thank God someone finally put a bikini on. Unfortunately none of you know who Kelly Bensimon is because she’s on The Real Housewives of New York which exactly five people… …read full story

- Matt Damon’s mustache is pubey. [Lainey Gossip] - Simon Cowell is engaged. [PopEater] - Avril Lavigne signing a picture of Jell-O because the premiere of a Tim Burton movie wasn’t trippy enough. [Dlisted] - Joanna Krupa legs are… …read full story

Was Carly Simon singing “You‘re So Vain” about David Geffen? [LimeLife]
Bret Michaels wants Miley Cyrus to “get undressed”. In a song. [Lightly Salted]
Sting isn‘t apologizing for performing for a tyrant. [Agent Bedhead]
My mom loves Tiffani Thiessen. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Beyonce still doesn‘t want to have babies. [Bossip]
Ewan McGregor interviewed for ‘The Ghost Writer’. [Moviefone]
Much like Scott Disick, Kellan Lutz has serial killer eyes. [PopBytes]
Olivia Wilde has no ass. [I Don’t Like You In That Way]
Kate Moss is either pregnant, or has terrible coke bloat. [Evil Beet]
Michael Kors outie belly-button is insane. [CoverAwards]
Jon Cryer was married to a psycho. [The Superficial]
Cameron Douglas blames his problems on daddy. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Kingston Rossdale is such a little cutie. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
This is Angelina Jolie‘s “Paris Shank-Face”. [Pop Sugar]
Busy Phillips cute kid & horrible acid-washed jeans. [ICYDK]

Because Jesus wouldn’t waste free publicity, Kirk Cameron issued People the following statement regarding the suicide of his Growing Pains co-star Andrew Koenig: “It is with great sorrow to hear about the final outcome of the search for my… …read full story

This is the new ad for Gucci Pour Homme fragrance starring James Franco, once again. What do you think a delicious Franco all wet? I think… it needs more nipple. Why didn’t they do it in a white t-shirt? Why isn’t it bigger? Does Gucci smell like “Wet Franco”? By the way, I imagine “Wet Franco” smells mildly better than “wet dog”. Here’s more from People:

Following James Franco’s good-natured spoof of his earlier Gucci Pour Homme fragrance ad campaign on Funny Or Die, the actor is officially back in front of the camera for the Italian luxury brand’s newest scent, Gucci by Gucci SPORT pour Homme.

“James Franco is perfect for this fragrance and perfect for Gucci,” the brand’s creative director, Frida Giannini, tells WWD. “He personifies the sort of nonchalance and unforced appeal that is most attractive in a man. In the advertising campaign, he captures the fragrance’s casual, modern and masculine air.”

Shot by famed fashion photographers Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin in Cannes, France, the new series depicts a very wet and chiseled Franco gazing seductively into the camera after a fully-clothed dip in a pool. The sporty fragrance, a mix of fresh citrus scents and masculine undertones like veviter, is available in stores now with products ranging from a deodorant stick for $27 to a 50 ml spray at $57.

[From People]

Last year, Franco even showed he had a good sense of humor about his Gucci modeling contract, and he did a pretty good Funny or Die spoof-voiceover bit for the actual Gucci commercial. I know it’s old news, but it’s still a funny video:

Oh, Jesus. He’s got a mustache too now! Dammit, very few men can pull off this look and you’re not one of them, Franco!

Gucci ad courtesy of People Magazine.

Remember how Courtney Love had a brief moment of lucidity last week? Yeah, that’s over. In spectacular form, actually. Yesterday, we heard about Love’s literal crack tweets regarding her desire to “hate f-ck” John Mayer with her powerful vadge. Then this morning, I awoke to this story at HuffPo about Courtney spending pretty much all of last night crack tweeting about how Edward Norton cheated her out of $300,000, and how he cheated Angelina Jolie and Brad out of money too…? But my crack tweet-to-English literacy is sub-par. I get a headache trying to decipher Lohan crack-tweets, so Courtney’s are way above my pay grade.

Anyway, it’s safe to say Courtney is no longer feeling any pain due to whatever maximum-strength crack she’s smoking. Not content to simple pick fights with Ed Norton and John Mayer (and her powerful vadge, probably), it seems she and Lily Allen are in the middle of some kind of beef. Let me just say, I’ve always had mixed feelings about Lily Allen, but the way she takes down Courtney actually had me giggling:

Safe to say Lily Allen won’t be catching any of those Courtney Love-fronted Hole reunion concerts. Things are definitely heating up over on Twitter, with the ever-bloomin’ English rose slamming Love for spreading rumors about some of Allen’s alleged diva demands—demands Allen says are completely bogus. But don’t call it a fight!

“I would never fight with her, as a rule I don’t pick on crazy old ladies,” Lily tweeted.

First, some backstory: It all started earlier this month when the music stars collided at London’s Brit Awards, the U.K. answer to the Grammys. On the red carpet, Love went out of her way to tell anyone with a microphone that while her Miu Miu frock was perfectly acceptable, she really wanted to wear a Chanel dress to the event (the Miu Miu PR department’s thank-you is no doubt in the mail).

Love claimed that she was denied access to any Chanel apparel, however, claiming Allen put a “lock” on all that design house’s wares.

Well, the accusation got back to Allen, and needless to say, she wasn’t happy. She was so unhappy, in fact, that she reportedly snubbed Love at this week’s much more casual U.K. music bash, the NME Awards.

Everyone caught up? Good. Now on your marks, get set, Twitter!

“Just clearing a couple of things up,” Allen wrote this morning. “Courtney Love and I did NOT have a bust up at the NME’s. There was an exchange of words, yes. She’s upset because she has got it into her head that i put a lock on some dresses for the brit awards. She’s made no secret of this and, when i saw her at the NME’s she tried to talk to me and i told her to shut up and stop spreading stupid rumours about me. And thats pretty much it. I would never fight with her, as a rule I don’t pick on crazy old ladies.”

Oh, our mistake. But she wasn’t quite done there. When asked by a follower if it actually transpires in celebrity world that stars put dibs on clothing, Allen seemed to deny the practice entirely—or at least denied that it’s something she ever engaged in.

“No but it’s the sort of thing a paranoid drug addled lunatic might come up with.”

As for Love, her defense was too little, too late soon.

The rocker, who has already redirected her ire to Edward Norton, actually offered a mea culpa to Allen last night.

“Dear i was told by my pr you had a ;ock on chanel couture this coulve been nonsense, it’s a compliment if true,” Lovee wrote, going on to admit that she was probably misinformed.

“I think i know the actual reality, if you did NOT have a lock wich i think is the mpore probable I was told nonsense. so end.”

Well, almost end.

“F–K i’m going to miss you all you brits with a few mean girls exceptions,” the U.S.-bound Love wrote this morning. “im taller than most girls so when some smaller girl picks on me it always looks like im a bully or mean, im really not, always.swear.”

Swear swear? OK then.

[From E! News]

Is that about it? Let’s see what else Courtney has been up to… ah, yes, she also took credit for making British actor/comedian Steve Coogan “cool”. Uh…yeah. Love said: “I’ve been embarrassed before, but that [fling with Coogan] was like a ten,. He was very, very nice - nicely spoken, didn’t know he was a super freak.” Love then said she was afraid she ruined Coogan’s rep, but then said: “Without knowing I’d actually made him really cool.” Jesus, Love.

Courtney Love in London on February 24, 2010. Lily Allen on February 25, 2010. Credit: INFphoto.com.

Here’s Lady GaGa in London last night and screw her outfit. Check out the look on her bodyguard’s face in each shot. There’s a man who went straight home, told his daughter he loved her, then bought ten ponies… …read full story

I’m not really sure what I think about this strange “Diva Alert” report from Star Magazine. Allegedly, Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson are up for two roles in The Emperor’s Children, a film about blah, blah, pre-9/11 New York. Apparently, they’ve both been acting like crazy divas about their wardrobes and shoot dates and stuff. The weird thing is that neither has actually signed on to the film, which by the looks of IMDB, is still in the very early stages of pre-production. So what is there to bicker about? I don’t get it. Anyway, enjoy this totally fictitious drama (and the slightly NSFW full ScarJo butt-shot):

Have they gone diva? Sources from the upcoming flick The Emperor’s Children - about a group of New Yorkers turning 30 just before 9/11 - tell Star about the outrageous demands of Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley, who are negotiating for roles in the film.

“These two are bickering about everything from wardrobe to their character to shoot dates,” a source tells Star. “Normally ScarJo and Keira are so easy to work with, but they can’t seem to agree on anything! I think they’re very competitive with each other, and they want to see who gets more.”

It’s so bad that costar Robert Redford is read to step in and referee, the source adds. “Robert’s never seen behavior like this before - and he’s been around forever!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, March 8, 2010]

Meh. I wonder what the hell caused such a random and easily fact-checked report? As far as I know, ScarJo is still on Broadway doing a play, and Keira is supposed to be one of the most pleasant and down-to-earth actresses out there. I have no idea what’s going on. But I liked the Robert Redford shout-out. We need more Redford stories.

Vintage ScarJo & Keira photos from Vanity Fair’s 2006 Hollywood Issue, courtesy of Google Images.

So remember when Jon Cryer said his ex-wife was trying to have him assassinated and everyone just laughed and said “What, did she watch Superman IV?” He wasn’t kidding. TMZ reports: According to documents filed in the custody battle… …read full story