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  • 25 Jul 2014

The Crap We Missed where it’s just another day, another embarrassing, drunk public appearance for Kiefer Sutherland. This guy needs some new material. We’ve also got Vin Diesel basking in his almost non-speaking role in which he’s rendered completely unrecognizable with CG effects, Ireland Baldwin at the bottom of the Republicans’ dreaded slippery slope, and Queen Elizabeth who just knows this bitch is about to take her phone out and start texting through this whole thing.

Seriously, there should be laws against these people,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

I should probably spill my intestines with a knife for even knowing this, but I could’ve sworn there was an episode of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians where Khloe found out she couldn’t get pregnant because her uterus is lopsided (and a Sasquatch’s). Yet here she is on Instagram holding her stomach with nothing but a heart for a caption. Then again, maybe she just ate some picnic baskets. She definitely loves those.

Photos: AKM-GSI, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

In a surprising move considering Kate Gosselin‘s eyes see all, and in the darkness, all see Kate, one of her nannies has escaped the compound and is talking to the media about just how anal a shrill mother of eight kids can be. As for how the nanny escaped, I’d assume by using the children to dig a series of intricate tunnels not unlike the Viet Cong. And if that seems racist, I’m not the one who shoved them out of my vagina for that exact purpose. Take it up with their mother. E! News reports:

“We always had to refer to the manual because it listed her pet peeves,” the nanny told E! News in a recent interview. “You couldn’t put anything on the ground. You had to put shoes in a certain spot. You couldn’t close doors loudly. You could only vacuum during certain times of the day if she was home.”

On top of never put things on the floor in a house full of eight children, the nannies were also encouraged to eavesdrop on the kids’ phone calls with Jon which seems risky considering one of them might be seduced by his talk of ATVs and betray their master:

“When Jon called the kids on the phone, Kate said to us nannies, ‘You are Kate, so always listen in on the phone calls,’” she recalled how her former boss would want the nannies to put themselves in her shoes and do as she would.
“We always had to keep an ear and eye on what was going on. Kate would say she had no problem with the kids having a relationship with Jon, but it always felt like a façade to me.”

As part of becoming Kate, a 47-part ritualistic process full of passive-aggressive Post-It notes and a routine diet of children’s tears, the nannies were often encouraged to wear blonde wigs and silly putty on their stomachs for days if not weeks at a time. In fact, looking back on it, some of them are pretty sure that’s all they’ve done since 2012 and can’t remember the last time they saw the real Kate. But then who’s been barking orders from inside her bedroo- fuck me, a tape recorder.

Photos: Splash News

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

#75 pic.twitter.com/Caj2N8iTAb

— ZackSnyder (@ZackSnyder) July 24, 2014

The Batfleck has a furrowed brow and a butt-chin. [Dlisted]
Did Nicholas Hoult & Jennifer Lawrence break up again? [LaineyGossip]
I don’t know, you guys: I think George RR Martin is a feminist. [Pajiba]
Miranda Kerr’s street style is pretty good. [Go Fug Yourself]
Morgan Freeman does helium-talk again. [Buzzfeed]
Megan Fox looks like a Barbie doll in close-up. [Moe Jackson]
Recap of Don’t Be Tardy. [Reality Tea]
This is a really great candid pic of David Gandy. [A Socialite Life]
There’s a guy who snuck into 50 music festivals. [The Blemish]
Selena Gomez smokes now, is European. [Celebslam]
Doutzen Kroes is about to give birth! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Selena Gomez looks exhausted here. [Popoholic]
Bill Murrary is still super-cool. [Wonderwall]
This porcelain doll story is still creepy. [Jezebel]

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

Comic-Con officially started yesterday, and the excitement was palpable provided your idea of excitement is looking at chins because literally two of the biggest stories are chin hair-based. I wish I was joking. So here’s a quick rundown of Day 1 and all the lower portion of the face news that dwells within:

Megan Fox Showed Up

There was a time when Megan Fox showing up anywhere would melt the entire Internet’s face off, but now nobody gives a shit and she’s back to making Michael Bay movies where she belongs. Not to mention, her appearance was immediately overshadowed by an Onion video full of painstakingly well-made giant CGI turtle dicks. IMMEDIATELY. OVERSHADOWED.

BATMAN’S CHIN! ZOLY SHIT!

For the first official image of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, fans were treated to a grainy as balls monochrome shot of Batman next to the new Batmobile. From there, an exciting picture of Superman looking exactly like he did in Man of Steel but more dark and serious because rain. And now building on that break-neck speed momentum is a dark-as-shit close-up of Batman’s face where fans can marvel at his stubbly, butt-like chin. FEEL THAT ENERGY! Via DC Comics:

Batman Ben Affleck Chin

The Avengers: Age of Ultron

Marvel realized four concept art posters for The Avengers: Age of Ultron because, let’s be honest, they don’t even have to try. They’re giving it the exact same treatment as Ant-Man, and it’ll still make a billion dollars. We’re like rats trying to get a pellet to them. *scurries under fridge* Cheeeeese…

UPDATE: They just added two more and that is definitely Vision in the background.

LUKE SKYWALKER HAS A BEARD. ZOLY MORE SHIT!

Okay, technically this is from the London premiere of Guardians of The Galaxy and not Comic-Con, but enough nerds lost their shit about it yesterday, so technically it counts. Anyway, here’s Mark Hamill‘s beard that he’ll be sporting in Episode VII because apparently Luke Skywalker with facial hair was all everyone needed to forget the prequels even happened. And if you’re wondering what the prequels are, nothing. I just made that up.

Mark Hamill Beard Star Wars

Rust Cohle In Space

And finally Matthew McConaughey and Christopher Nolan made their first Comic-Con appearances to promote Interstellar which now sounds even more bananaballs space awesome. Except when asked if he believes aliens are real, Matthew McConaughey responded, “I don’t remember them in The Bible. Alright, alright,” and everyone just kind of went, “Goddammit,” but agreed to watch the movie anyway because Matthew McConaughey will say any words that are in a script. He’s like Ron Burgundy.

Photos: FameFlynet

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj has been stirring sh-t up on social media this week. She already tweeted about racism in hip hop and threw some hefty shade on Iggy Azalea in the process. All of that was precursor to Nicki dropping the artwork for her new “Anaconda” single. We only thought Nicki started dressing classy. She hasn’t changed a bit. (I’m blurring this image for your eyeballs and because we blur all derrieres on this site.)

Nicki Minaj

With a single cover like this, no one is really thinking about the music, right? Nicki wanted some attention, so she put her booty out there for everyone to see. She wanted big reactions. She wanted to have people freak out over her NSFW thong shot. She wanted to rant when people called her out for looking for attention.

Someone took the bait and photoshopped Nicki’s cheeks into the Google logo. Nicki decided this parody was racist and posted it to her Instagram page. Then she posted the thonged tushies of a bunch of SI models, including the latest SI: Swim cover. Nicki labeled these tushes “acceptable” and “angelic” (except for Chrissy Teigen’s butt, which she laughed at). Nicki stuck to posting white girl booty to make her point. She purposely did not post any tushies of SI’s black swimsuit models like Cris Urena or Chanel Iman.

Does Nicki have a point about racism against booties? There’s a difference between the SI: Swim issue (where people expect to see tush) and a single cover (that people see on the internet without warning). For what it’s worth, people called out Lady Gaga for her thong on the “Do What U Want” single cover too.

Nicki Minaj

Photos courtesy of Nicki Minaj on Instagram, Fame/Flynet & WENN

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

Like a flare up that eventually goes away if you just stop itching it, Paris Hilton is being shoved into our faces again with a new Carl’s Jr. ad that she’s somehow getting all the credit for despite the fact it stars Hannah Ferguson and Paris is just a cameo which is fucking bullshit. Hannah’s a legitimate Sports Illustrated swimsuit model while the only thing Paris Hilton’s done to deserve attention is fall out of a wealthy vagina. And even then somebody had to pull her out. She literally just sat there going, “Gawd. This is taking forever.”

Fun Fact: Those burger chewing sounds? Paris getting out of her car. True story.

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

Selena Gomez and Cara Delevingne‘s lesbian vacation is officially over, so here are the rest of Selena’s outfits in St. Tropez that I didn’t post yesterday because I was too busy covering such hard-hitting news as Superman with a lightsaber and The Queen actually smiling which probably explains this. There’s your answer right there.

Photos: Abaca / Vantagenews / AKM-GSI, INFphoto, Splash News

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

- “How hard is it for you to grow a penis? I’m not asking much, am I?” [Lainey Gossip]

- John Travolta‘s lawyers can’t stop his gay lover from writing a tell-all book. [Dlisted]

- Why Go To Comic-Con When Meg Turney Is At theCHIVE? [theCHIVE]

- Justin Bieber is your new Robin Thicke. [Fishwrapper]

- Pro-Tip: Don’t leave sex toys in your vagina for an entire decade. [The Frisky]

- Simon Cowell declared gay in court. [WWTDD]

- Kate Beckinsale is still a fucking angel. [Popoholic]

- Yes, take relationship advice from Taylor Swift. What could go wrong? [Starpulse]

- Kristin Cavallari just had a baby two months ago. Two. [tooFab]

- Beyonce thinks she’s Rosie The Riveter now. [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Yara Khmidan? [Hollywood Tuna]

- And you, too, Maite Perroni. [Celebslam]

- Those are Ashley Sky‘s nipples. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

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  • Posted by administrator
  • 25 Jul 2014

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When I first saw this story I thought it was about Jill Duggar’s new husband, Derick Dillard. It’s not that I can’t tell the many Duggar progeny apart, I sort-of can, it’s that I didn’t really read the story and rolled my eyes at it. It’s one of those “my religion is better than your religion, even though we have the same God” arguments, and really who has the time or patience for that? These people do, obviously.

Jessa Duggar’s 19 year-old fiance, apparently frustrated by the lack of full-on hugs from his would-be bride, posted a Facebook entry denouncing Catholics for some ways their religion differs from his own Evangelical beliefs. It was very eye-roll inducing and the kid must have realized that on some level because he deleted it when people started calling him out on it.

Ben Seewald, the staunch Christian boyfriend of 19 Kids and Counting star Jessa Duggar, 21, has been forced to delete an anti-Catholic rant he posted to his Facebook page last week, after it caused a social media storm, reports RadarOnline.

The 19-year-old, from Hot Springs, Arkansas, vented his ‘problem’ with the Catholic faith, slamming the religion for suggesting that Jesus’ mother Mary was a ‘sinless being,’ and quoting scripture to support his views.

‘Where [Catholics] depart from Scripture, I will in no way support, but will call them out because I love them and desire that they be turned from their deadly errors,’ the frothy diatribe read.

‘I have nothing against individuals who are Catholic,’ the post read. ‘I know a lot of Catholics who are great people. What I DO have a problem with is the teaching that man can merit God’s favor through his own works or the works of other fallen men.’

It continued: ‘I DO have a problem with the teaching that man can come to God through Mary or any other person besides Jesus . . . I DO have a problem with the deification of Mary as a sinless being.

‘Mary herself admitted her need for a Savior. If she had no sin, she would need no Savior.’

Readers were quick to respond to Ben’s post – not the first aggressive religion rant he has shared to the social media site.

‘Ben is the worst. He is just the worst,’ one user commented. ‘This kind of ‘Christian love’ is one of the most sickening sentiments on the planet.

‘It’s demeaning, it’s condescending, it’s self-aggrandizing and it turns my stomach.’

Many users pointed out the various errors in his Bible references, with one writing: ‘You post your almighty preachings as if you know the real truth.

‘But, then people point out your numerous mistakes, you take your post down or just erase all the negative things. Grow up boy and face the truth.’

Not long afterwards, Mr Seewald did indeed erase the post. He has since shared a post about ‘Abortion. America’s Silent Killer,’ – another one of his preferred subjects to proselytize.

[From Daily Mail]

I used to be Catholic but now I’m an atheist. I’m a recent transplant to the south though, and I learned to stop telling people I’m atheist lest they try to “save” me. (So many random people have tried to get me to go to their church. Unless it’s the Church of Bacon, I’m not going.)

So this whole rant makes little sense to me. Maybe those of you with more theology knowledge can explain it, but taken on face value it seems to mean that he doesn’t agree with certain Catholic beliefs and thinks they’re so terrible as to be “deadly.” He’s saying that Catholics are going to burn in hell for the fact that they think that charity is looked upon favorably by God, right?

A while ago I heard an excellent This American Life about a former high level Evangelical pastor and right hand man to Oral Roberts, Carlton Pearson. Pearson came to the personal realization that God wasn’t damning good people to hell just because they weren’t Christian. He also studied The Bible inside and out and decided that it was flawed and that it wasn’t God’s final word. Of course the Evangelicals denounced him as a heretic.

If I did believe in God, I would believe something similar to Pearson and The Unitarians. Their God is inclusive and loves and welcomes everyone. Seewald’s God is pissed off when anyone varies from their specific arbitrary formula for salvation.

Oh and Seewald also posted this photo last month of Jessa with a semi-automatic rifle. Shootin’ up sh*t for Jesus!
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Photos from Facebook

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